How Wrong Could I Be?

So greetings once again to you all as you join is for the second half of our French trip. We reconvene in the heart of the most exquisite city in the world.

I had suggested that maybe it would be fun and a unique experience to take a cooking class with the girls. Oh how wrong could I be? It wasn't exactly the gastronomic pleasure I had envisaged. . .

We had arranged to meet at about 6:30 pm, outside of the hotel. I had spent the morning with Kim, separated before lunch and then spent the afternoon with Yolanda at the Notre Dame. We were all acutely aware that there was a significant change in Kim's behavior, but couldn't quite understand what exactly was responsible for the shift. I knew she wasn't drinking, for sure, and I support her a 1000 percent in her struggle with sobriety. But she seemed sleepy, lethargic, rambling, and almost incoherent at times. We waited for her for a substantial amount of time,which in the past had been a bit of a ritual and finally she joined us.

She still seemed not herself so I asked her in my naïveté, as there is such a difficult time change of nine hours, if she had taken a sleeping pill. I am ignorant of the fact, and have since been educated, that if you struggle with one sort of addiction, it is almost as if you slipped if you indulge in some sort of sleep aid. I didn't realize the two were synonymous.

Kim was over emotional and volatile, vehemently denying that she had been in her bedroom all day. As I said previously we had left her just before lunch and she didn't reappear until that evening. . .She was not accurately recalling the events of that afternoon.

As we watch this story unfold, all will be explained. I empathize with her situation, and love and support her.

It was difficult to watch Yolanda stating that because I hadn't phoned her that I didn't care about her. We have all been on this adventure tethered together by circumstance for three years and that cannot be erased.

I explained it to Mauricio when he arrived because there had been such a radical change in the dynamic between us. Kim was emotional and it was difficult to fathom. There seemed a tension and what should have been a wonderful experience was rapidly deteriorating.

Paris is one of the most romantic cities I have ever experienced. The incredible architecture, coupled with the little streets, creates a wonderful ambience. Maybe that would encourage one to be idealistic and strive for perfection in our relationships.

Kyle and I still have fun together. You the viewer has seen that. But she repeatedly brings up the question mark over ours. Absolutely the friendship changed, and I have endeavored to explain it to her as best I can. Actions have consequences, and she has difficulty computing that. The ripple effect of the hurt that is caused will manifest a change in any relationship. The trust isn't there, but I continue to challenge her, intimating that going forward, if she was ever in my corner when under pressure (which sounds ridiculous but occurs frequently in this group of women). I would appreciate it and maybe it would be a step in the right direction towards rebuilding our friendship -- back to what it used to be anyway lets not hold our breath.

So I will leave you now until next week. I adore reading your comments and as always. . .

Love Lisa.
X x