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How Can You Successfully Co-Parent with a Partner When There's Major Tension?
Khloe Kardashian is planning on inviting Tristan Thompson to True's first birthday party, says reports.
It’s almost time for True Thompson’s first birthday, which means a first birthday party in full Kardashian style. And one report says Khloe wants to invite Tristan Thompson, you know, for True’s sake.
But, well, he just cheated on her with Jordyn Woods. PEOPLE reports that Kim Kardashian thinks inviting Tristan is a bad idea, as there’s no way Khloe can “keep it together and not lose it on him.” But Khloe wants him there: “She’s very good at compartmentalizing, and at the end of the day, she wants True to have a happy relationship with both of her parents,” another source added. “She’s not one to seek revenge or hold on to negativity.”
New York-based relationship counselor Michael DeMarco, PhD., told Personal Space attending a party with Tristan in the wake of his latest cheating scandal is going to require several coping mechanisms.
“They have to learn how to de-escalate arguments and how to fight the conflict in a constructive way, instead of fighting each other in a mean way. In my practice, we go over ways to communicate to each other how upset you are (like, I'm 5 out of 10 annoyed with you, or I'm 100 out of 100 pissed off at you) and plan coping skills (and practice them) accordingly,” DeMarco said.
“Something like finding out your partner cheated and now you have to throw your kid's birthday party would be hard to plan in advance, but we'd still recommend the one-two punch in cognitive behavioral therapy — focus on a rational thought, and do your best to behave in a measured way that's not going to be ultimately worse than the initial adversity. More specifically: Focus on the kid. The kid doesn't need to have their life marked on a day they're going to celebrate (or not) for the rest of their lives as the day that Mommy threw my birthday cake on the ground because Daddy was having an affair. The rational thoughts are, ‘Although I hate this situation, it is probably nothing I can solve right at this second when we have to show our child a good time on their birthday.’ The measured behavior would be something like being cordial to each other, yet staying out of each other's way, and after the party, asking for some time to process, and then asking for a time to talk (or go to counseling, etc).”
DeMarco said the alternative is focusing on the adversity at hand, which is much worse. “Then come racing thoughts, ruminating, and acting out, so that not only are you miserable, everyone around you is as well. Will this get you closer to the goal of a stable relationship that can weather all kinds of things? Rational thoughts. Measured reactions. But it takes practice.”
The good news is besides that one Twitter meltdown, it seems Khloe has gotten good at practicing restraint.
Credit: Khloe Kardashian/Instagram
