We’re Shocked by the Real Story of What Went Down Between John Mayer and Kourtney Kardashian (and His Thoughts on Her Mom)

Has John Mayer been treating Kourtney Kardashian's body like a wonderland? Rumors of sparks between Andy Cohen's BFF and the eldest Kardashian sister started flying back in December, when they were spotted looking chatty at a GQ party. And leave it to the Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen host to get to the bottom of Mayer's love life by just asking him straight up on his Radio Andy show whether they were flirting or hooking up that night.

“Yeah, that happens not to be true," Mayer told Andy, clearing it up.

Andy also wondered if Mayer had told Kardashian, "It was sweet serendipity running into you," as some tabloids reported at the time. "I would never say that!" Mayer insisted.

 "But if you're getting paid to write the story and you listen to every John Mayer song and say, 'What's the next thing he might say based on all the lyrics?' it might be, 'It was sweet serendipity running into you.' But I didn't say that because that's hyper-corny," he continued.

He told Andy the real story was even better; he crashed the party and hit up Kardashian to see if she wanted to be in a video for the German rock band Scorpions, which unfortunately never happened.

Andy teased Mayer that maybe there is another family member he should pursue.

"You and I were at Craig's in L.A. and we ran into Kris Jenner and I felt sparks between you two," Andy prodded.

"She has a good grasp on how to make your serotonin just burst in your brain," Mayer said. "I was sitting next to her and I was like, 'You are the ground zero of Hollywood bliss.'" But he's also "a little afraid of her."

"I don't want to be noticed by Kris Jenner too much. I want a nice base level of respect but I don't want to be too far on her radar."

Why is he so reluctant to get near Jenner, besides the possible wrath of the momager's boyfriend, Corey Gamble?

"She could end me."