Tamra: But With Every Bad Thing Comes Something Good

I THINK Stella is getting her groove back? It's just taking some time. The last year had been a long painful journey for me and coming back to the show and filming scared me. I really did feel like I had been hit by a truck and I was learning to function again. What most people didn't know I was going through some really painful issues while filming (last year) and I was not allowed to talk about them on camera for legal reasons. My ex-husband put me and the children thorough a painful custody battle that lasted a year. A year of court dates, attorney fees, sleepless nights, scared children, therapy appointments, false media stories, lies, embarrassment, but most of all the worst pain I had ever felt. These are memories that me and my children will never forget. This is pain that has changed each one of my kids in different ways. My two youngest kids are closer to me than ever. My oldest daughter has chosen to go live with her dad and every day without her is painful for me. 

The press can be extremely hurtful and most of the time cause unnecessary stress in your life. They called me "monster mom, child abuser, unfit mother." They said "my husband was leaving me, that I was fired from RHOC." And none of it was true. The truth is the judge threw out the case without even hearing my testimony. There was NO evidence, NO witnesses and NO truth to any of it. Now I am left to pick up all the pieces and find my happy again.

I tell you all this because not because I want your sympathy, but because you will hear me say on occasion "how bad last year was" I just want you to know it's not because of what happened in Bali, although that didn't help my state of mind. 

Heather has been a wonderful friend to me and was one person that really helped me get through some hard days. I remember one day she called me and she cried on the phone with me because she knew how much I was hurting. That's a good friend and I will never forget her being there for me.

But with every bad thing comes something good. When I felt I was at my lowest I went to church and my life changed forever. I am excited to share my journey with you. Already people are reporting that my faith is "fake" or "I had no storyline" and all I can say to them is keep watching and I hope you are inspired by my story. I am not perfect and I never will be, but now I got the man upstairs helping me thorough life. You'll see me slip up, make bad decisions and do things without thinking...that's just me! Like I said if you don't like it you can SUCK IT!

Thank you to all the teenagers and parents that have reached out to me on social media sharing their stories about parental alienation and how it affected their life. It's helped me get through and understand a lot of things. Parental alienation is child abuse and needs to be recognized in the court of law.

Honestly, I was nervous about going to Napa. I was not in a good place and had pulled away from most of the ladies over the past six months. But there was no way I was going to miss the launch of Collette. I would have to say that it was the most fun I had had in months. Heather really knows how to throw a party. 

Shannon Feels Ambushed by Meghan in Napa

I clicked with Meghan instantly. She is sassy and a little bit smart***y just like me. She had told me at dinner with Heather about this phone call with Shannon. To be honest I really didn't get what the big deal was? Sounded more like a misunderstanding than anything to me. I had no idea it was going to get so blown out of proportion like it did. I walked into the Bello's living room to get my purse and I overhead Shannon and Meghan talking. I was like WOW this sh** is happening! Watching the episode it all seemed pretty petty to me...but who am I to judge?

Can we please talk about the toilet paper in my dress...that was embarrassing! I had to go to the bathroom so bad and Shannon and Meghan were in there forever. So I went in the men's room. There were no a** gaskets. So I lined the toilet seat with five layers of toilet paper and hovered over the toilet in my drunken stupor. Not knowing when I pulled up my drawers the toilet paper got caught in my undies. Thanks Shannon for pulling it out and not letting me walk around the party like that. Then to have my husband pull the rest out in bed was beyond embarrassing. I think we laughed about it for days.

Does That Mean Shannon's Not Going?

Having to tell Shannon that she was not invited to Meghan's charity party was not easy. I really didn't think it was my job to tell Shannon but when she kept talking about going to the party, buying a dress, and hiring hair and makeup I started to feel really bad. What if she showed up at the party and Meghan sent her home? I knew I had to save her from that embarrassment, so I told her.  

No one wants to be left out it's a sh***y feeling, especially for a charity event that you hosted the year before. I am trying to put myself in Meghan's shoes, she doesn't really know Shannon, they did not get off to a good start and the last time they saw each other they were in a huge fight. I am not going to pick sides on this one and I'm not sure what I would have done in that situation, but what I do know is that it wasn't my fight to fight.   

At dinner with Shannon, Vicki asked me to NOT attend Meghan's charity event because it's not fair to Shannon. I told her I would not do that, I had already said I would be there. I told her that I would attend the party then go meet them after.  When we were sitting at the table Vicki texted me asking me when I was coming, it was late and the bar was closing. We jumped in the limo and got there for last call and a bite to eat. It was nice to see them having a good time.

I can't remember what I said about Meghan being young in last night's episode? But news alert you are young Meg, nothing wrong with that. You are the age of some of our kids. So when we say things about your age it's not a bad thing, I would have to say that you are the most mature 30 year old I have ever met. So don't get mad at me for calling you young...what I'd give to be 30 again and know what I know now.  

I feel very bad for Shannon and her family. I had no idea the extent of their marriage problems and that she would be revealing them on the show until recently. Shannon has had the life knocked out of her by David's affair and she is fighting to keep her family together. It makes me sad that I refer to her as "crazy or out there". She is not crazy she is hurting. When you're going through the hardest time of your life its hard to cope with every day decisions and people referring to you as crazy doesn't help. I'm sorry Shannon. Shannon is a great mom and wife from what I have seen and I hate that she's going through so much pain. 

I promise I am going to try and keep up with my blogs. I will see you on WWHL on July 13 for the birth of my beautiful granddaughter Ava. You can follow me on Instagram and Twitter @tamrajudge.

CUT Fitness www.cutfitoc.com has a new youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMokbygri0w make sure you subscribe. We are working on providing videos on all things health, fitness, and nutrition.   

Tamra Judge