Sonja: I Don't Think I Am Dita Von Teese

Oh my goodness, I just understood the double entendre of Ramona's tag line. "Get your pinot ready, it's turtle time!" She is getting very naughty. I know we got mixed reviews on our taglines this year, but we wanted to have some real fun and tongue-in-cheek humor this year. After five seasons you guys know us too well!

I can't believe the very same young artists that I put together for this Sonja In the City event for are laughing about me behind my back? I came from all the way uptown in the rain to meet them at their studio. It's not my first time at the rodeo kids. I have my priorities! Even though I have so much on my plate, I still do a lot of charity work. It keeps me balanced, grateful for all I have and I enjoy it.

This is one such event that took a lot of my time. On top of Sonja in The City event, organizing it, finding sponsors, and getting press to cover it, I agreed to a cameo performance -- all while I manage single motherhood and working on launching these new businesses I have been cultivating. I just opened my summer house that friends at Nestseekers International Real Estate lent me for the summer and took my convertible out of storage. That took some time upon arrival as well. All the first weekend at the beach! Ah. . .high class problems.

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The entire event had over 90 performers who are professional dancers, singers, and Broadway performers. I am the spokesperson to sell tickets to my chic group of jet-setting friends who can afford the tickets (at $500 a table) and who don't expect more then a plastic cup because they understand it is about the CHARITY. We all left the event happy after dancing together on stage with the talented performers and a good laugh from the skit I wrote and went to a fabulous dinner.

The charity was to highlight the dancers andc the LGBT. These guys are professional dancers who do their act every week and rehearse constantly. I am just the cameo dropping in for fun. One really shouldn't take themselves so seriously! I like to enjoy life and prioritize my life in a manner that allows my daughter to stay in the childhood home she knew before my divorce so that she has the stability she needs to continue to get straight As at school, and stay happy and balanced. Period! Next, I manage my business, which is growing to be something I am really enjoying -- a fashion lifestyle brand that comes naturally to me while being the writer, performer, producer I have always been. I don't work with people I don't enjoy and I luckily do the work I enjoy. It's a blessing.

The hard part of getting this charity done successfully was the sponsors, then transforming the space into an intimate setting like a cabaret even though we are in an airplane hanger, and lastly selling 500 tickets! Somehow we pull it off.

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Carole has always been a supporter of the arts, and has told me several times I could star in a one-woman show on off-Broadway, so I know her comments must have been for drama. She knows I don't think I am Dita Von Teese. Who does? I do a soft burlesque and do NOT take off my clothes. I don't have the skill to warrant that. LOL.

I have my own style and enjoy entertaining people in a self-deprecating fashion, which is the very definition of burlesque. One does that to make others feel good about their own pain and what they may be going through. Like I said I love to entertain and to make others feel good! From the looks on people's faces and the standing ovation, I don't think anyone was uncomfortable. It was a theatrical invitation and I was in character.

Ditch Plains is THE hottest surfer beach. Brian, my artist boyfriend, who you may remember from Season 3 and 4, surfs there. He's really hot too! I do paddle board. I'm doing it now in Thailand and I do it in St. Tropez. I don't surf (yet). Never say never! After seeing these chicks do so well, I'm inspired!

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I'm surprised Carole didn't get up on the surf board, because she has been good at all other sports, like croquet. Kristen was amazing, and, of course Heather, is our in-house sportswoman! We have an impressive group! Bravo knows how to pick them. There are no average bears in our group. We sure know how to pick 'em. Is there some foreshadowing for the next trip to the woods?

Also, it was great to see Carole getting her flirt on. I agree with Heather. She has so much to share with the right guy. She had her rock and roll guy for awhile, but I heard she didn't want to marry him. I am seeing Ben. It's nice to be in a steady relationship. Harry is trying. But he isn't the only guy trying. I'm not giving up Ben for talk. Actions speak louder then words.

Adriana le Glam was a wonderful support. I love her style and she can sure lace up a corset! Dex Phillips does fantastic makeup, and of course I can always count on Warren Tricomi whether I am in the Hamptons, CT, or running to the Plaza Hotel. Hank fell through with the vintage 1920s costume, so I improvise. No sweat. It's a charity event. I'm not the main act!

Hank gets so nervous. He does this every week, and it is very well rehearsed. I always do things impromptu and on my own. Hank's liquor sponsor fell through last minute, and I ended up getting the booze, food, and decor from Steve Carl of Carlyle Off the Green. He and I have done several Sonja In the City Events together. I enjoy working with him. We all do what we have to do. Sonja In the City just did the Season 6 premiere party with over 400 in guests from the power set, socialites, and celebs, and we had press jammed in the tiny room since the weather pushed the red carpet inside.

I love to throw themed and costumed parties. I enjoy the anticipation of what everyone else will wear. The girls really turned it out and created fantasy. They were soooo gorgeous and fun. Amanda was rude to say the vodka was cheap. It's a charity, and the alcohol is donated. We were lucky to have alcohol after the first sponsor dropped out! She was a guest of Aviva and should be grateful. Amanda says Harry didn't recognize her not naked. . .that was hilarious! She does a gorgeous face -- but she is like a bat out of hell.

Ben is so sweet and supportive. He drove out to spend the weekend and to support me, though he really prefers our time alone or with his family further west on the island.

The interns love the limelight and the travels. They basically do the training for the credit, but jump right in when the opportunity strikes and turn the personality on. We work hard at a lot of mundane business, me teaching them the ropes, them giving me a hand, but we are getting ahead together at the end of the day. Team Sonja is growing together.

Harry gives a good strong dip when dancing, as Heather said, because he is from DC. They grow up knowing how to dance. It's the southern culture. One thing I love doing with Harry is dancing -- however I am looking for a lifelong partner I can do more than dance with. We shall see. . .besides I'm with Ben now.

I love the restaurant 75 Main in Southampton. The owner Zach Erdem is a dear friend. I cancelled my rez there that day to join the girls at Kristen's friends house because Harry was going to be with Amanda at lunch and I wanted to support the sale.

Heather is loyal to Carole and has stood by me. So now she says that Amanda is two-faced to me, I will have to give that some thought.

I'm so happy to see Carole taking the high road apologizing to Lu and I was esctatic that they danced and let loose at my charity event because Lu is a lot fun when it's just us girls.

Heather has a point about character assassination but the argument is between Carole and Aviva, and Heather's hot head does seem to be escalating this a bit. If LuAnn thinks she can put us all back in our cabinets like in Morocco she is dreaming. Too funny. Guuurrrls to the kitchen. Right!

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This evening gets so intense. Amanda comes in like she is oblivious to our friendships and says she is going to deck Heather. Anyone with any respect knows you can't say that!

Then we see a preview of Aviva going back to where her accident happened. You have to respect the fact she is going back there. Whatever is really going on between her and Carole, you have to respect the fact that she wrote this book (or didn't write this book) and got it published. Kudos! She told her story. She shared it.

I have tons of respect for Carole's sass and writing style. Her blogs are amazing. She is generous to share them and to share her life in her book and on the show. She has so much going for her, much more that she gives herself credit. Ah the humility!

Thanks for watching our meanest and our kookiest moments. Tune in next week to see more about Harry-esque behavior, Ben Ben-a-who?, how I stay in shape, and why -- and what -- rolls off my girls' tongues.

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