Yolanda: Brandi Was in Extreme Pain

Happy New Year everyone, I don't believe I have ever been this excited to start a new year. A new year with hopefully new beginnings. . .

Unfortunately, looking at tonight's episode, this is not the case. Somehow, in this group, we keep going over and over the same things so here we go again.

Sitting at Lisa's dinner was extremely uncomfortable. I felt like a fish out of water. I think today's show gives an extremely clear picture of my friendship with Brandi. Like I said before, her behavior is unacceptable, but I love her for the loyalty and kindness she has shown me during my battle with Lyme disease. Sadly, empathy seems to be a rare quality in this group, so I really appreciate that quality in Brandi.

Regardless though, it is extremely hard to see a friend behave the way that she did and I am not going to defend it -- but I am also not going to walk away from our relationship while knowing she is in a severe depression.

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So even though I could barely get out of bed myself, I felt the need to check on Brandi at her house. When I got there, I could see the pain in her eyes and sense the extreme demons she was fighting. Unfortunately, you are only seeing two minutes of a deep one-hour conversation where we discussed her issues and battle with severe depression. I felt really sad for her, but I also had to speak up because I started to feel like a hypocrite for sitting through two of these very dysfunctional dinners without getting much of my true opinion in. I am raising daughters and would be absolutely mortified if any of them would see women communicate that way.

Again, depression is not an apology for Brandi's behavior, but it's a very valid reason. Only those of you who actually experienced this chemical imbalance in the brain will be able to agree with this. Brandi is very street smart, and I cannot change her intuition about Joyce, but I can only hope that she will pull out of her dark hole and choose to make a change and communicate in a more respectful manner.

Hearing Joyce speak about "They" on the golf course, I can only imagine that it must be Brandi, Lisa and I she is referring to. As far as I know, I have never had any conflict with Joyce, but I assume the story is different in her head. The truth is that I gave her my phone number at Kyle's party, even though I was sick, I made the effort to invite her to lunch in Malibu, and I also had lunch with her after the dinner at SUR to try to mend fences between her and Brandi.

I agree with Joyce when it comes to her issues with Brandi's choice of communication, but I would hope that one day she will learn that life is not black and white and that as she matures as a woman, she will learn to have a little more empathy for those who battle something she knows nothing about.

Kyle and Mauricio’s donation to the Children's Hospital was extremely generous. I am sure it was refreshing for you all to see another side of all the craziness in this group. Giving back in anyway at any level is a privilege and a great thing to do. All the girls looked beautiful and it was nice to see them rally and give back to our community.

I never knew Kyle started acting at such a young age; it was nice to see her and Jamie reconnect for such a great cause.

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Lisa and Joyce did not get off on the right start and the tea at Lisa’s house felt uncomfortable and not genuine to me. I might be wrong, but I believe Lisa looks out of sorts because she is defending a cause she does not believe in anymore. Brandi is in a downward spiral and being friends with her just does not look pretty at the moment. Lisa is also starting to see that Joyce is a gorgeous woman that can't be ignored and is a force to be reckoned with.

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Now, to Lisa's defense, I understand her response to Joyce's gift. This was honestly about the fifth gift in maybe eight meetings, and I say this because I never understood why either. It made me doubt Joyce's intentions because at the end of the day, friendships cannot be bought. All that money could have gone to a great charity and really made a difference in someone's life that truly needs to be gifted.

Enjoy the first week of 2014.

Much love,
Yolanda