Carlton: Brandi Had No Right

A long exhausting and depleting 13 hour day. Of course, I had no idea what to expect about this reunion, but I will tell you I went to my magical store, Objets d Art, got my candles, tucked my crystals hematite into my bra and held onto my crystal black tourmaline. I was set for battle. I arrived with no bloody makeup, just great music to set my calm. I was peaceful.

Let's face it, I think I have said all I have had to say this whole bloody season. Nothing held back. I really don't want to repeat it again. Honestly I have no regrets. I've said everything that was on my mind. Made it abundantly clear who I like and who are trolls that belong under a bridge. I wished deep in my heart that you had truly gotten an enlightened view about my faith and beliefs, without the dumb background music. Introduced you properly to my incredible husband and family on the level that I deal with everyday, my beautiful and talented girlfriends who I love and only want the very f---ing best for, and my gorgeous nanny who I trust the lives with all of our three children.

Brandi, let's be clear, you honestly still didn't have the right to say what you said. It was my choice not yours. We have a great relationship, and I consider you a lovely friend -- but it wasn't OK. That's all. And I am still not having an affair with my nanny although she is beautiful and has a mind of her own. . .

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Here we bloody go. . .

I do think Lisa had to deal with a lot of envy from people from being the first Housewife on Dancing With the Stars. Pretending to faint -- I seriously doubt that. It wasn't cool watching the reenactment with Kyle and Kim. It's pretty disrespectful, especially from a so-called friend! Again, who needs enemies? I certainly know that Kyle wouldn't have thought that was harmless humor and blown it off. God knows she'd be demanding an apology riiiight about now. Doesn't Lisa have a history with low blood sugar anyway?

Listen, Lisa's sense of humor is wickedly British to the core. Unfortunately some women in this group take offense to it because they don't understand it. Maybe they're looking for a reason not to. Possibly? From my own personal experience with Lisa whenever we are around one another we are constantly taking the piss out of each other -- without being dramatically insulted or offended. That's because it doesn't come from a bad place. So lighten up and take the sticks out your arses ladies. Maybe my broomstick got lodged up one of their derrieres.

Another telling (but not shocking) moment, Kyle acts innocent about telling Brandi that while Lisa supposedly lived in the Valley, she also filed for bankruptcy. Interesting how it became all about Brandi with this information, yet it spawned from Kyle. Oh and by the way, there's nothing wrong with Calabasas! I have lived there and have built and we have sold many houses there (from $8-12 million). Just saying. Our family lives in Hidden Hills -- old school class and obviously affluent.

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Palm Desert: One thing I clearly remember is when Kyle ran when she realized her sister was praying next to a trash can. Interesting to watch that transpire. Although you focus on what Lisa may say about "not judging Kim" Kyle though was hiding, apparently embarrassed behind a column while we waited for the tram. And you say now to your sister "don't apologize" when you clearly acted mortified by her your own sister's behavior.

My few experiences with Kim have always been fun. I completely understand how Kim's dog is her guardian.

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Hung like a donkey. Joyce, yes. (A confessional -- not to you.) Yes my hubby is. Actually maybe more Italian Stallion, but I never said that to you directly. You, however, desperately needed to convince me that your husband was -- the very first night I met you within five minutes. It's OK to work with less. Don't be hating.

As far as Joyce's criticism with regards to Yolanda's etiquette, that's bloody hysterical Please Yolanda has a wealth of experience when it comes to hosting. .

Joyce with her reckless use of labels is always trying to sell out anyone who's willing to listen. It had become crystal clear wherever Joyce sees an opportunity is where she will make an A-line for, so she can lie and sellout others.

So quite frankly there is nothing formidable about her. She started drama from the get go. And I seriously doubt that Joyce has ever made more money than Brandi, as she was a real model. . I find it very hard to believe that she actually writes her own blogs. Judging by how Michael is sooooo involved in his little Twitter world about us the Housewives (sadly not including him). Now let's be honest, with all due respect he seriously may be up for the newest Housewife of Beverly Hills. If so I am royally f---ed! These two actually see themselves as the new Lisa and Ken (without the substance). So entertaining to watch though.

And onto the next. . .
Blessed night angels.