The Difference Between Joyce and Brandi

We begin this episode with the end of our SUR dinner from hell. Lisa having a dinner to bring Joyce and I together is ironic because the whole reason we don't get along is because of Lisa and the Hairgate situation. Lisa asked me to act as if Joyce didn't exist and now she is throwing a dinner for us? It's all so perplexing.

The other thing I find perplexing is that Mohammed and Martin are Lisa's two very best friends and they somehow both know Joyce very well, but Lisa had never known of her or met her. Something seems very fishy.

Having a husband and wife tag team me from across the table was frustrating because I'm one person and I didn't have a husband or partner there backing me up. The f-bombs did fly out of my mouth aplenty, but Joyce, with all of her elegance, had no problem saying them right back to me . I got up and left out of the frustration from trying to fight with two people who are both yelling at me, making false accusations, and calling me bulls--- labels.

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On the husband/man topic, I date plenty -- maybe even too much -- and have zero issues getting a man. The difference between myself and Joyce is that I won't settle. I have to be physically attracted to the men I date. I want butterflies, chemistry, the whole shebang. If I just wanted to marry some short, rich guy that promised to make me famous I could have done that long ago.

The one thing I did enjoy about Joyce in this episode was that when her hair was in a ponytail she couldn't play with it as much. I'm not sure if she is in hair competition with Crystal Gayle, but someone needs a seven-inch trim.

Joyce told Yolanda she needed to give me some elegance, because apparently Joyce thinks she is perfect -- so much so that her New Year's resolution wasn't about improving herself at all but was about me. Obsessed much? Please Joyce focus on your own issues, of which there are plenty.

The day after our dinner from hell Yolanda came to visit me and give me a big sister-style pep talk, in which she told me I need to change the way I communicate. I've never spoken the way I've spoken to Joyce to any of my real friends, Yolanda included. But negative bad people bring out the temperamental, f-bomb-swearing side of me. Yolanda is very aware of what was going on in my life at this time, unlike most of the rest of the girls. She knows my dad is seriously ill and we are not on speaking terms. She knows the heartbreak I've been dealing with, having Chica my dog disappear and handling my children's devastation from that. There is also a lawsuit from my former landlord and a few other issues I'd rather not make public.

I was happy to see that Kim got Kingsley back and to hear how comfortably she sleeps. I love Kim but that dog still scares me. However we may need to send our new dog Buddy away for some of that intensive dog training.

Carlton's tattoo looked beautiful, but painful. I don't personally have any tattoos nor do I want them because I don't like pain.

Going to Kyle's charity event I was joined by two of my best friends Etirsa and Adrienne, who were both top runway models in Europe with me and whom I've known for over 20 years. I planned on being as nice and cordial to Joyce as I was at the fitting for the fashion show and doing my bit for the Children's Hospital.

The clothes were beautiful, as was Jamie Lee Curtis. I was truly amazed and in awe at the help that Kyle and Mauricio are able to donate to this amazing charity. I just think it is wonderful and I hope one day to be able to do the same.

The fashion show was a success and watching Kyle's daughters come out of their shell and take on the runway was super cute. It was a very short runway --  maybe 15 feet and a fairly casual event so I wasn't going to go over the top walking the tiny catwalk. I did think Joyce took it a little too seriously and forgot we weren't on a pageant stage in some sort of competition. But I guess that's the difference between real runway models and pageant girls. My girlfriends and I got in, did our jobs, and got out.

Lisa and Joyce got together to discuss -- what else. . .me. Joyce goes on to say if I can't be cordial to her then I'm just a "stupid little bitch." I guess that's how classy women talk! But for as stupid as I am supposed to be, guess what? I know what the words chastise and reprimand mean! Just saying!

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