Kenya: We Both Needed Closure

Bravotv.com: Do you think you're ready for a serious relationship now?
Kenya Moore: I’m a work in progress. During my journey I’ve learned that I have to take the time to address and ultimately resolve some deep emotional family issues that may be the underlying reason I have been choosing the wrong men. I have had some amazing long-term relationships filled with love. However, I have broken up with the majority of those men for reasons I’m discovering now. I’ve pulled the cart before the horse in the past, and I am breaking the cycle by working on myself first and prior to any serious relationship.

Bravotv.com: How difficult was it opening up to your dad?
KM: It was very difficult, because I have never had a real heart to heart with my dad. He was 15-years-old when he learned he was going to be a father. He was a baby himself having a baby in the ‘70s. I could never understand why I’ve had so many ups and downs with my father. Whenever he had become hurt, he masked it with anger and stormed off and I would not hear from him for months, sometimes years.

I have always known he has loved me, but I didn’t think he has always shown it in the proper way especially when I was a teenager and needed him the most. Even now as a woman in my forties, I still need my father. All “little girls" need their daddies. Fathers instill us with self-esteem from with their love, acceptance, and approval. We don’t seek it consciously from men in our lives often accepting abusive men as a result of this emotional void.

When he came to visit, I was at a point where I needed resolution and that meant I had to really connect with him and be honest about the pain I have caused him. I have never addressed or apologized to him for running away from his home at 12-years-old. We both needed closure.

Bravotv.com: Were you surprised to see your dad get emotional?
KM: My father is a lot of things, but he has never been emotional around me. He is prideful, strong-willed, and stubborn as hell. I am my father’s daughter. I was shocked to see tears come from his eyes. It broke my heart to hear that I made him feel like he wasn’t good enough. It still breaks my heart to know we spent more than half my life at odds unnecessarily hurting each other. But after having our heart to heart, I realize how proud I am of him. I’m thankful that we have grown together. He is not perfect, but he is my family and the only father I have. Most importantly, I know he has always wanted me, unlike my mother. He has never abused me, he has never set out to hurt me, he has never disowned me -- all things my mother has done.

Next week we travel to Detroit together and I finally confront my mother with the support of my Dad. I would not have it any other way. Thank you for being a part of my journey to be a better person and to bring my family together. This is my time and my life and thank God I have the strength and support of my Daddy during my journey.

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