Candiace: I Felt Sorry For Charrisse

Bravotv.com: Tell us about walking away from that lunch and watching Monique Samuels and Ashley Darby’s reactions to your convo with Chris about it now.
Candiace Dillard: I was DRAINED after that lunch. I don’t like confrontation. It’s not my nature to ever start a verbal scuffle… but I will always be present and accounted for to finish it. I can see how it might have appeared as if I was “holding” my feelings in about the bubble soccer grilling and the debacle on the Shade Wagon en route to Nemacolin. Up until now, I was the fun-loving, energetic, “cheerleader” Candiace – all fairly accurate facets of my personality. What these women (Mo and Ash included) fail to realize is that I am allowed to be more than a one-dimensional human being. My personality is layered and as with any relationship, you will become privy to new and varying layers as we spend more time together and new scenarios are thrown at me. Watching Ashley and Monique in the hallway while I was venting to my susband, I did feel a twinge of unsupportiveness from them. Chris is my rock and I need his perspective and direction to make sense of things. I do, however, expect my friends to defend me and understand my vantage point and it seemed like they were judging my reaction to the shade and attacks I received on the Shade Wagon and fromCharrisse Jackson Jordan. I did sense that Monique felt torn between Charrisse and myself (which, I don’t think she should have been) and I can understand how that could play a part in her reactions but I need them to respect me as an independent thinker and trust that I am always going to hold my own – regardless of what “advice” I receive from them. and I will ALWAYS do it my way. I don’t subscribe to this statute of limitations rulebook on when I am allowed to address my grievances. When I get good and ready to address my beef is when you’ll hear about it. So, prepare yourselves with a seat and a notebook. Period.
BravoTV.com: Do you think that Charrisse was jealous of your friendship with Monique?
CD: So much has happened since Nemacolin. Relationships can ebb and flow. What I have learned about Charrisse is that she is a sensitive lady and must be handled with care. While I wouldn’t call it jealously per se, I can definitely see Charrisse being a little cautious of me moving into her territory with her Jersey Girl.
BravoTV.com: Do you think that Monique was hanging you out to dry at the second-day dinner like Ashley says?
CD: Well, you gotta take everything Ash says with two grains of salt and a shot of cod liver oil. But, when you peel back the layers and stacks of embellished drama Ashley tends to pile on top of the latest debacle, I’m not sure what to make of Monique’s intentions. I know what kind of friend Monique has been to me from the time we met. I know how she has welcomed me into her home and how her family has welcomed Chris and me into their lives. I know how supportive she has been of me in figuring out the best way to maneuver this colorful group of women. So, I can’t believe after all of that, she would just throw me under the bus for no reason. I also just choose not to see darkness in people unless they show me the ugly in them and Monique has always only been a positive light around me. What I am more inclined to believe is that she was busy being loyal to her first friend and it left room for me to be “left out to dry.” It was definitely an eyebrow raiser to watch her sort of waffle throughout the episode (she kind of defends me when the fly fishing group was in the jeep but she kind of let me get talked about…) but I think she felt caught in the middle and didn’t want to have to choose a side. I think because she is closest to Charrisse, she, of course, didn’t want to see me beef with her. I think she expected for Charrisse and me to get along and for me to, perhaps, have beef with some of the other ladies. So maybe it was a bit of shell shock when it turned out that her two friends were going at it.
BravoTV.com: Tell us about apologizing to Charrisse.
CD: Full disclosure. After watching the whole situation play out again, I wish I hadn’t apologized to Charrisse. This whole thing happened almost a year ago and I’m over it now but, placing myself back in the moment, girlfriend gave off vibes and she didn’t deserve my apology so soon. I probably would have apologized eventually though. I’m not a complete heathen.
BravoTV.com: What did you think of the Blue Eyes convo and what were you thinking when Charrisse said that Ray had asked for a divorce?
CD: Girl, this Blue Eye’s conversation sounds like some mess Gizelle made up and had Ashley carry out the message. It all sounds so WRONG. You mean to tell me, even if Karen WAS sleeping with a man other than her husband, she would take her salacious extramarital affair to the Land of Oz and suck face with her gentleman caller at the bar for all the world to see???? That don’t even sound right! Karen isn’t a fool. If she was doing some Trapped in the Closet-type foolishness, she wouldn’t do it anywhere near Ashley’s kangaroo casseroles because common sense. Also, I just don’t see Karen cheating on Bill Gates, the Black version. And that’s that on that.
I felt betrayal FOR Karen… and honestly, I felt sorry for Charrisse. The whole situation seems a bit desperate similar to her reaching her arm across the bus for a fight with me. HOWEVER…maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this is how they do one another. Maybe it was okay for Charrisse to bring up Ray asking Karen for a divorce because they weren’t in mixed company. What do I know though, you know? I’m just the Cheerleader…