Claudia: I Give Up

Bravotv.com: Were you surprised by Kenya's elaborate viewing party?
Claudia Jordan: Yes, I was! She was pretty good at keeping it all a secret, and it was so well done! I really felt like I was going to a surprise wedding. Hopefully that was some foreshadowing of what's to come in the near future…

Bravotv.com: What did you think of Kenya's pilot?
CJ: I thought it was cute and very fun to watch. The thing about Kenya I really like is that she is comfortable laughing at herself and not taking herself too seriously. She's entertaining. I thought Cynthia was really funny and totally committed to the part. It was fun to watch it with all the girls, especially the part when Kenya played her own hair care commercial during the pilot! That was hilarious.

Bravotv.com: Did you feel that you and Porsha finally repaired your friendship?
CJ: You know, it's hard to tell. I can't say we were ever really friends, because at the end of the day we have very little in common, and I don't think I can say I know who she really is. I was totally open to it when I arrived on the scene, but it's difficult dealing with someone who's cool with you one minute, then not cool with you the next. I think too many people are inserting their opinions and changing things. I swear we will be past something and "cool," then the very next time I see her it's back to the okey doke or I will catch wind of her throwing jabs in her blog. So honestly I have given up and no longer care to beat that dead horse.

Instead I'm focusing on viable and healthy friendships with people I feel I have things in common with, like Demetria, who's one of the most hardworking and classy (yet still fun) girls I know. Like Cynthia, who supports and attends everyone else’s events. Like Kenya, because even though she's very busy and travels a lot, when we do link up, it's all positive. And like Kandi, who I'm not super close with, but we are getting to know each other more and more. And despite our friends not liking some of the folks we both hang with, Kandi never let that get in the way of being open to a possible friendship with me, and I respect that.

I was hopeful when we got back from the Philippines; Kandi, Porsha, and I even went to a club the day we got back from our 20-something hour trip home. But what happens with these shows is you make progress, but then someone on Twitter may amp you up, and you feel you have to placate those people. Or an episode airs that took place six months ago when things were bad, and even though things are good now, you get in your feelings all over again when you watch the show months later. I suspect this may be the case, but like I said, it's exhausting trying to figure out why people do what they do, so I am throwing in the white towel. I give up trying. If things change for the best, then hallelujah, and if they do not, I promise I will not lose any more sleep.

The season was fun and stressful -- I laughed a lot, I cried a few times, I opened up about issues I never really get to talk about in my day-to-day life, and I have made some pretty amazing friends. I'm getting calls to do some comedy shows, I have two films coming out later this year, I am dating, and I’m in a very good place! I'm optimistic moving forward and extremely excited about my future here in Atlanta. Thank you to everyone who has reached out to me online and in person. It's been truly flattering and humbling. Love y'all! xoxo!