Mariah and Toya: Own Your Part

I am not sure where to start with tonight’s episode. So I will start by saying I'm glad I was on call! I couldn't believe my eyes, two grown professional women, doctor's wives fighting. What? Who would have ever imagined? Mariah and Toya physically fighting is unbelievable. Everyone had their version of how it started and what precipitated the fight. For me it does not matter where it started; just how the situation ended. This was a pure disaster. CODE BLUE!!! 911. Get the doctor STAT!!!

How could two beautiful, intelligent women prevent a physical altercation? That's the question. Now I will never say never, but I will ask, what could have been done differently?

Both women needed to have handled their emotions, though I will admit this is probably one of the hardest thing for us women to do. Mariah and Toya both admit their dislike for one another, and I am not real sure why they get under each other’s skin. If you don’t like someone, it should be easy to ignore them. Their opinions shouldn’t matter.

The conversation between Toya and Mariah’s mother (Miss Lucy) was over, and I'm not sure why Toya felt the need to confront Mariah about it at that time. The golden rule is "thinking before speaking." I suggest we ask, "What good will it do to say this or say that?" Is it natural to allow our emotions to rule? We do have the ability to reason and to resist the temptation and not to let anger get the best of us -- and certainly not to physically attack another human being.

I believe this fight could have been avoided if they had exercised open communication and let go of "who's right"! I'm not convinced who is right, but I definitely know whose wrong. . .BOTH!!!

I acknowledge that Mariah was extremely upset with Toya for disclosing that Lauren was adopted, but in Mariah’s words “No Tea, No Shade”! If you don’t spill the tea, no one can throw shade. I think Toya can agree that was not her story to share. Neither Toya nor Mariah will concede that they both created this situation. Ladies you have to own your part in the epic fail! When tempers are flaring, it is difficult to make a case that I did no wrong!!!

WALK AWAY! In Toya’s case, I think approaching Mariah in the presence of others and at a party was probably bad timing. I am still confused on the purpose for pulling Mariah away, in that moment, to make comments about her mother. Toya should have avoided both. This is not complicated, simply put one foot in front of the other and take steps in the opposite direction and continue walking. These are simple lessons we teach our kids, but we fail to practice what we preach. In Mariah's case, why touch another woman? Why flick another person's hair when tempers are flaring. I am still in a state of shock that "THE QUEEN B", the leader of the pack, would raise her hand to touch another. Both of their actions was a set up for failure and guess in this case for FIGHTING!!! I still am sitting in a state of shock!!!!

Ladies, it is totally fine to be indifferent. Agree to disagree. Attention-seeking behavior is so juvenile and it will only escalate the situation. There is enough room for all of us to coexist!!! I hope that there is a way that they can heal from this fight and salvage their friendship. I wonder what are the Mr. MD's thinking tonight. I guess I can say Aydin and Ducan had birthday to remember!!!

J.M.Walters, M.D.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.