Workplace Etiquette

Jeff Lewis Design is a difficult place to work for a number of reasons, one of the most notable being the inappropriate office conversation. Basically it's an HR nightmare, and I don't think anyone envies Jenni in her new role as HR director. The levels of workplace lunacy seemed to reach an all-time high this week, so let's take a look at some of the most egregious offenses.

Coming to a Mushroom Head

Is it just me, or has Jeff been cracking a lot of dick jokes this season (Exhibit A)? Perhaps it's a result of his synergy with Andrew, who seems to make it way too easy. Who can say? In any event, this week was no exception as we learned when Jeff tried to pick out some new cabinet pulls. It all starts innocently enough, with Andrew saying one of the pulls is only 1.222 inches thick. But he manages to inject the sheer suggestion of naughtiness into his tone, which Jeff of course picks up on, and after that the floodgates open wide.

Suddenly it became a penis joke free-for-all and we're talking about bigger tips, mushrooming out, and that everyone can agree that they prefer black ones. Poor, quiet Vanina (more on her shortly) is just there chuckling in the background while Gage looks on in horror as Jeff and Andrew one up each other. These two have clearly mastered the art of maintaining a double entendre conversation for an obscenely long amount of time.

Side Note: Part of me thinks Jeff does this just to bother Gage.

ICUP

Vanina seems so sweet and innocent, yet somehow she's ended up working for Jeff. And working for Jeff means your bathroom habits are scrutinized and publicly voiced to the entire staff.

This time around Jeff gets on Vanina's case about allegedly peeing on the seat in such a way that he has to wipe it down. Of course in front of everyone as if he had merely asked her to not CC him on an email or something. At least Vanina was able to muster a quiet, "You're such an ass," after her shaming. (Speaking of shaming, what happened to the smock of shame? Let's bring that one back.)

Luckily for Vanina, she can report to the new HR director, Ms. Jenni Pulos, to lodge a complaint. Somehow we then switch into a very Office-esque mode where Jenni very seriously writes up Jeff for his inappropriate work behavior. Jenni then calls in Jeff whose response is, "Well then you can clean her pee off the toilet seat." Oh the never-ending potty talk at JLD... Fingered

Of course, OF COURSE Zoila injures her hand, and it happens to be her middle finger. Sometimes it's just too easy.

Fishing for Trouble

Is there a line at JLD? Evidently the answer is yes. What was so foul that it actually made Jeff cringe? Behold: "Other times I’d rather slurp rancid tuna fish salad out of Nancy's ass."

Bleh! Just bleh! What an awful string of words. And not to mention poor Nancy! That was when things got truly awkward. Nancy seems like such a kind, no-nonsense sort of lady, so why bring her into this deeply disturbing visual? I guess when there is such a tragic casualty, it's just too much. Next week Jeff learns that Andrew may not have been completely honest with him about his past...