Where To Begin?

First of all I truly love all the feedback from the viewers this season! So thank y'all so much for that!! I'm often asked if its weird to see myself on TV and I always say it's comparable to watching a home video. In fact, the only difference is that sometimes people will come up to me in the grocery store perplexed as to why they know me. Hee hee ... makes me giggle! Episode three ... oy ... where to begin?

There seems to be more focus on Jackie and myself than in the past episodes. There were weeks of bonding that really sealed our relationship in between filming -- so when camera time resumed, we were super comfortable with each other and I think that translates. Watching the dog washing scene makes me shvitz a little. Those dogs hate my guts! And Jackie gets sick pleasure out of watching these viscous spawns from the devil bite me, which (I've counted) is 26 times! You'd think I'd learn my lesson ... but I'm determined to make peace. I've tried to Dog Whisper them on several occasions ... but alas I am no Cesar Millan. So I continue to bleed and cry on a regular basis!
With regards to Jackie and my relationship -- I'm often asked if there was a moment where I thought "what am I getting myself into?" and if the foray into heteroflexibility suddenly seemed scarier than it should be. The answer is no. I never felt fear at any point -- I felt confused as to what these new feelings were and I did a great deal of questioning within myself. But never once did I concern myself with any outside opinions because you never know anyone's agenda. I think it's dangerous to place what is right for you into the hands of others. The parties involved, specifically the other trainers, have every right to their point of view... but I NEVER gave them one second of thought.

The slumber party was a riot! We had so much fun laughing at that southern belle talking to us about vibrators and arousal creams. She was like a sorority girl from "Ol' Miss" gone bad. I loved what Zen said about the raciness running in my family!! It's too funny and oh so true! I was really proud of Zen for her performance at the Laugh Factory ... she was so brave to get up there and she really commanded the stage. There is definitely a sense of family among the trainers and though we may disagree often and loudly ... we truly want the best for one another.

The sushi dinner following the Laugh Factory was interesting. I felt very much in the hot seat ... my favorite seat in the house! I don't have much to say about that -- I was loving watching Jesse come unraveled. Is that wrong? It WAS difficult watching my first kiss with Jackie ... we watched this together and were screaming and covering our eyes! It's just plain weird to see yourself kissing on TV. Its kinda like when you're in a bar sober and you see people making out and your thinking, "Ugh, how gross. Get a room."

But then, we have all been on the flip side where we were the ones macking down and you think you're the only ones in the room. That's how it felt in that moment. It's getting steamy though ... I'm anxious to see what develops next week!