My Mom Doesn't Know

Actually, my first kiss was in pre-school, but wasn't everybodys? Isn't that hilarious? You kiss your best friend on the playground. It's technically a first kiss, but... It was in the sandbox. His name was Kyle. I think. We were maybe four. My real first kiss... Even my mom doesn't know about it. His name was Shane Hug. He was my first boyfriend in seventh grade. I was a little young for it all. It was right before high school, in that time when boys and girls start to really look at each other. There's a lot of build-up to your first kiss. You think, "What's the big deal about?" And then, "oh. Is this what the big deal is about? This is awfully messy." It was wet. And sloppy. And lots of fun. It was in my bedroom at my house, unbeknownst to my mom. I can only hope that the statute of limitations about getting in trouble has passed, Mom. Sorry! It paved the way for many other ex-boyfriends to follow. And then over the years you practice and you get a little bit better. I'm well on record about this, but if I had to nail down my first moment of "love at first sight," I'd have to say bacon. Happy Valentine's Day!