Pouring One for Sheldon's Homies - Ep 12

Hello, my little crunchy salmon rolls (my favorite at Momoya -- my New York sushi hot-spot)! Last week I wondered what Stefan would say about his "wifey" Kristen's departure. Well he said she must be pissed, but also, it's a competition. Well, it's more than he said about his other competitors. Brooke regrets not saying anything at Judges' Table. She said she would have if she thought for a moment the elimination would go the way it did. Oh, that bitch hindsight again… Josie tries to commiserate with Lizzie, saying Kristen's achilles heel was her ambition. Lizzie doesn't respond. This speaks volumes.

To the Top Chef Kitchen! Standing with Padma is sushi guru, Katsuya Uechi. I mean, this is a ridiculous guest judge. Ridiculously exciting. You may recognize his name from all the paparazzi shots of celebrities coming out of his eponymous restaurants. The challenge? Create a Dish to Impress a Sushi Master. Katsuya gave the advice to not to mix up too many ingredients. If you have good fish -- which they did -- they shouldn't do much to it. That probably means adding bacon, guys. Just saying. Oh, also, the chefs don't have the opportunity to secure immunity any more. So, yeah, let's probably not add bacon to our sushi. Josh responds to the challenge by saying, "I live in Oklahoma -- I don't make much sushi." Hmm -- he could probably make the sushi I used to eat in college, before I started eating "real" sushi. Since I didn't really want to eat raw fish at the time, I used to order a Dinosaur BBQ sushi roll at my sushi spot of choice. It was obviously tempura'd, smothered in Dinosaur BBQ sauce. Now that I look back on it, I can't believe I ate it, but it was so damn good. 

Also, have you guys seen Jiro Dreams of Sushi? It's on Netflix Instant if you're interested.

I'm done digressing, I swear!

Like Josh, Lizzie is also poo-pooing the challenge a bit saying sushi is an art, but it's not her art. Fair.

After some direct but meaningful criticism from Katsuya, I thought maybe Sheldon would take the win. His lemon charcoal was genius, and it was all created by accident. While I -- and I think I can speak for Sheldon on this -- don't recommend leaving something in an oven unattended while you head to a meeting, it did produce a great idea. But, alas, Stefan, who started the challenge with a little "writer's block" won. I was nervous for Stefan because he made a duo by Julia Child-ing that lobster, and usually more is less for Stefan. But Katsuya loved his dishes. I find it extremely ironic that Stefan won a sushi challenge, a challenge based on simplicity. On to the Elimination Challenge, presented by Tom Colicchio and one of his former employees, David Chang. "Everybody loves fried chicken," David says matter-of-factly. And you know what? I honestly can't think of anyone who doesn't (besides vegetarians, obviously.)

Thanks for the segue, David! Speaking of fried chicken, have you checked THIS out yet?

The challenge is to create a fried chicken dish for a dinner party at Tom's house. Sheldon declares that he's going to wear his deep pants, so he doesn't shit himself. Stefan makes Stefan-y jokes about thighs and legs. Come on, you guys! Get serious! Well, Josh is serious. This is the challenge he's been waiting for, so that either means he'll win or go home. Josie says she's got this one in the bag, so she'll either win or go home. Before we get into the dishes, let's discuss the things we learn in this episode.

1. Padma called tom Tommy. Awww.

2. Wolfgang is a true gentleman and pushed in Emeril's chair for him.

3. The guys from Son of a Gun -- a restaurant I hope to visit at the end of February -- once interviewed to work for Brooke, and didn't get hired. After eating her chicken, they express happiness over this turn of events. Ouch! (Sidenote: I have eaten at their other eatery, Animal, and it's effing amazing. Get the oxtail gravy poutine!)

4. Josie admits time management is her achilles heel. Finally.

Back at the house…

5. Sheldon plays the ukelele, like, really, really well. As if he couldn't be more lovable than he already was. (Also, who caught him say, "Pouring one for my homies," as he cooked his dish? It was so Eliza of him!)

6. Stefan's mother has been struggling with Parkinsons for 18 years. We see a side of Stefan I don't think many of us have witnessed before. I can't even imagine how proud of Stefan his mother is. 

Anyway, back at the picturesque dining table...

All the chefs are bonding, and it's a lot of fun to watch. I had a smile on my face the whole time.

So, let's get to the chicken! Sheldon makes two kinds -- Momofuku-style (ballsy) and umami. His oil isn't hot enough for his first batch of Momofuku-style wings, so he doesn't make enough. Those who do get them are wowed and everyone loved his Umami drumsticks and thighs, sooo he ends up on top.

Lizzie isn't familiar with American fried chicken so she makes spiced fried chicken breasts. She gets some criticism for only using the breasts, but also ends up on top.

Ultimately Josh wins with his smoked fried chicken. The judges all agreed that smoking the chicken before frying it was pretty genius. Josh did his grandfather proud.

Unfortunately, Brooke, Josie, and Stefan don't fare as well. Brooke was actually guilty of poor time managament this time. She didn't crisp her skin as she had planned and was ultimately forced to warm her already-fried chicken in the oven, then re-fry it. Yikes. But, she's safe.

Stefan almost went home for making Chicken Cordon Bleu, and not very well. I actually didn't think the idea was as bad as the judges did, but they may have been more forgiving if it had tasted better. I actually really like Chicken Cordon Bleu. I used to order the Chicken Crave (essentially a Chicken Cordon Bleu wrap) at Pita Pit on a regular basis in college. But, I was also usually drunk, and also, I think we've already proven in this recap that my tastes in college were questionable. Sooo, never mind! But, he's also safe.

And so, that leaves us with Josie. I don't think we've seen Tom this riled up in a long time, but all that fried chicken will do that to you. Josie's chicken was greasy as she didn't have time to rest it on a paper towel. Again, it came back to time management, and, y'know, the curse of Michelle Bernstein. I kid. I kid.

Although I think many if not all of you were ready to see Josie go, I do wonder which you find more forgivable: dry chicken or greasy chicken. I'm not so sure I know my answer. Leave yours in the Comments section below!

It's not the last you've seen of Josie quite yet, though! She and Kristen are caught in an epic battle in Last Chance Kitchen, so watch that HERE.

Until next week, Have a Nosh!