GIF Recap: Lizzie's Lonely Birthday Dance

Hola my RHOC friends.

It's Valentine's Day in California and that means that Heather Dubrow is Googling sex acts. . .

Yes, she does, and we're going to let her!

After we see Tamra confiding in Vicki about her son's big plans to get married and move to another state (something that Vicki has handled before) and Lizzie planning her birthday, we see Heather Dubrow making plans for a couples' Valentine's Day dinner for the ages. This isn't just some prix fixe dinner with lots of candles -- there will be an epic and saucy game of Truth or Dare that will include questions related to (but not limited to) handcuffs, Dirty Sanchezes, golden showers, and Dutch Ovens. She's all about it, until she actually realizes what a Dirty Sanchez is.

This is Heather's face when she finds out what a Dirty Sanchez is.

OK, so maybe that card won't make it to the Truth or Dare tree!

But before the Valentine's Day party, we have another holiday to celebrate -- the 34th birthday of one Lizzie Rovsek. First we dance. . .

But not for long as none of the ladies actually show up for Lizzie's party bus shindig.

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Lizzie was disappointed to find the only lady who made it was Vicki Gunvalson, and so in Vicki Gunvalson form, this was how she reacted.

At least Lizzie and Vicki could bond over tequila shots -- and warnings about Tamra. Lizzie is shocked Tamra's friend could have so much negative to say about her. . .Hopefully that's not a sign of Vicki and Tamra's relationship being on the rocks.

Next Tamra goes to visit Heather and talk about the bummers of being an adult.

Tamra and Eddie have been to busy to go on their honeymoon. Heather and Terry have been to busy to go on a 15-year anniversary trip. So why not ditch the men and go on a ladies trip to somewhere glamorous?!?

And Vicki's in, even though she doesn't know squat about Bali -- as long as Shannon's invited. So the ladies decide to start a summit with Shannon to try to get her onboard with the trip, provided she behaves. In the words of Heather, "I just don't want to travel the other side of the world to be yelled at."

But before that meeting, there's Heather's Valentine's Day party -- and that mean's Tamra's in the spirit and not wearing a bra.

Looking good, but not good enough to distract Lizzie from how she's feeling after that bad birthday. Lizzie calls Tamra out immediately, saying that she heard through the grapevine that Tamra just didn't want to go.

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At the very least Tamra should have let her know on time that she wasn't going to be on time. According to Lizzie that's just basic manners.

Meanwhile, at another romantic dinner, Shannon and David are discussing his Michigan version of the food pyramid.

And then it's finally time to get to those saucy cards, first Tamra puts on her most sensual glasses.

Kidding those are Terry's!

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The group tackles all manner of topics, prudish friends, freak factors, and of course anal. . . .

Or as Terry calls it "the dolphin."

And finally the ladies meet to discuss reincarnation, oh and to invite Shannon to Bali. But does she really want to go off with these ladies? Survery says: yes!

And so all the ladies are set and ready to get their Bali on, but will it be the healing trip of their dreams? We'll have to wait until next week to see.