The Ring Doesn't Mean a Thing

Hello RHOC fans! We're still living in an onion ring free world. But now we've got another hungry mouth to feed –- new Housewife Lydia McLaughlin. Let's try to make sense of all the antics this week, shall we.

If It Ain't Brooks
We open with someone paying a visit to see baby Troy. But it's still not Tamra -- it’s Vicki's new BFF Alexis. At this point I'm wondering how old Troy will be when Tamra finally sees him. The kid might be walking considering the state of their relationship at the moment.

In better news, Vicki is doing a great job as Nana, and things at the Gunvalson household are pretty good. Well pretty good until the name Brooks gets brought up. Over salad, Alexis asks what Vicki's relationship status is and Vicki explains that she and Brooks are still "on a break." But Briana's not buying it. She thinks her mother is still talking to him, and she still does not approver. Poor Vicki is just as confused as can be. I feel like someone needs to draw our gal a relationship map.

Sadly, when Briana drops in to see her at work, things are only made more complicated. Briana shares that she has no interest in being around Brooks, or supporting them as a couple. With the divorce history and all that's going on, Briana would just prefer that Vicki not entertain dates in the house at the moment -- particularly not her suitor Brooks. If Vicki does need the space for dating, Briana will pack up little Troy and hit the road.

Cover Family
Next we see Heather visiting her man Terry at work (and trying on some various implants). Heather was approached by Lydia to possibly appear in her magazine, Beverly Hills Lifestyle. But Terry knows his editorial worth and doesn't want to commit to the bit if they aren't guaranteed the cover (nice hardball Heather).

And so when Lydia arrives and immediately hugs Heather, perhaps that's a good sign for getting the cover? I think the only surer sign is if they had kissed on the lips (jk). 

Heather puts on the hard sell, but then moves on to more jovial topics. Like Lydia's mutal friends -- which includes Alexis Bellino. For Mrs. Dubrow, that's a major red flag, but she is friends with another gal Heather likes. But she is wearing a fake ring, but not in the style of Alexis, so basically for Heather the jury is still decidely out. 

However, my jury is fully deliberated and in love with anyone that does that little happy dance in her interviews. Plus she can win a man back from not knowing her name. Plus she does weird armpit dances when she drinks, which don't we all? We'll have to see how she fits in with the rest of the gals, but so far I'm liking what I see.

Shut Up and Drive
Meanwhile, Tamra is visiting the location of CUT Fitness, and waiting for a Vicki drop by -- she is conveninently located in drivable/walkable distance across the street. Convenient if they are speaking.

When Vicki takes the tour she's, of course, very concerned about the gym's insurance needs. But beyond the coverage tension, there is still a bit of dramatic tension between our gals. It really was sort like Tamra asked Vicki out on a date when she suggested they get dinner that night. Let's hope that Vicki brings some flowers. . .

Next we see the gals debating what exactly a stiff drink is and making life extremely awkward for the servers of this restaurant (Pardon your reach? Honey, pardon your intrusion in their friendship state of affairs luncheon!). Vicki is tired of all the pressure on Brooks, but Tamra thinks she's getting blamed for things that might be Briana's fault. 

But then, sweetly, Tamra just offers to do what she can do to help. Vicki will have to make up her own mind about what goes on with Brooks, and for now the women will just leave it at that. That and long continued eye contact. Here's to great sex ladies?

The Brush Off
Meanwhile, in things that make me super happy, the Dubrows are going to temple. Terry needs to atone for his jokes and for his gym schedule. Darling Collette might need to atone for her willful ways. Little girl does not adore the sitting still or the fasting. Or the putting blankets in the tote bag. Basically, Colette wants to do as she likes. Girl after my own heart.

Meanwhile, in getting it her way news. Tamra is excited to show everyone that she's getting her way with the gym. So she's going to throw a phenomenal get together with all of her friends -- including wife of male Martha Stewart-Alexis Bellino.

Yes, Alexis is invited to a Tamra party. I'm as shocked as you are. Vicki decided she wanted to have a little reinforcements for the big event, so she asks T if it's fine that she have Mrs. Bellino along. Tamra says yes. . .oddly. This should go well.

Yeah probably not. What do you think? How long will it take for Tamra's meal to run off the rails? Who will be the one to run it off? Leave your guesses in the comments.