Why Not You?

I thought bowling for Champs looked like a lot of fun. . .minus the crazy lady.

Heather is creative at coming up with unique ideas for parties, first the painting party and then the champagne bowling party. Forget the restaurant business -- she should be a party planner. I wish I could have gone just to watch, but it was just too soon after my surgery. I still had drainage tubes that are not that easy to hide in clothes. I thought Vicki handled herself very well with the Sarah drama. I don't know Sarah too well but what from what I have seen I have to agree with Terry -- "where did she park her spaceship?"

Watching Jim and Alexis eat dinner gave me chills, right from the minute he threw her coat on the ground. His "Me Tarzan, You Jane" approach is a little hard to swallow. Saying she needed to stay home and raise his children was the most degrading thing I have heard him say, direct smack in her face. What the heck! She doesn't mean enough to him for him to say "OUR CHILDREN"? Then when he asked if she would be ordering his food I was stunned. Maybe I am spoiled, but Eddie usually will give the server my order or I do it myself. He would never expect me to order for him unless he was in the bathroom.

You can see that his control is wearing on Alexis, and I was proud of her for sticking up for herself. I know this all to well. The more independence she gets the more he is going to try and hold her back. I think I know where this is headed. I hope she did not quite her Fox Five job because her husband made her. But maybe she should for obvious reasons. . .YIKES!

So let's get something straight: It's not that I do not like Brooks, because you cant help but like him. He is very charming and has been nothing but nice to Eddie and I. I just worry about Vicki getting too close so soon. She has been very emotional for the past year with the divorce and Briana's health, so I am worried about her. When I heard that she handed over her passwords to Facebook and her email accounts, plus the "no secrets comment," that concerned me. One reason is she has not been dating him very long. She is a public person, and you need to be extra careful.

I want my friend to be happy more than anyone in the world, and, if Brooks is the one, I support them 100 percent. This season you will continue to see me get to know Brooks and question a few things, we went through some tough times. We are in a different place now and he really does love Vicki to death. But, I'm still keeping my eyes on you Brooks. LOL!

Removing my breast implants was something that I thought about for years. You saw me down-size five years ago (baby steps) after struggling with the decision to remove them completely. I did not have the confidence or courage to remove them five years ago. when I say there were many reasons why I removed my implants -- I mean it. It started with feeling that they were just too big for my frame. I felt they made me look heavier than I was. It was hard to run. It was hard to find clothes that fit properly, and I could not find a bra that fit to save my life. I felt like no matter what I wore I looked like a porn star. But it wasn't until a doctors appointment that I knew I wanted them out. Going in for my annual check up and mammogram and getting the results changed many things for me. I was first told that I had an irregular pap and needed a biopsy, so I did just that. Then my mammogram came back telling me that I had a lump that needed to biopsied. My OB/GYN told me that it was just probably my implant folded and that I should not worry. It was not my implant and they did remove it. It was not cancerous. Thank God.

But it made me wonder if my breast implants made it harder to detect cancer?

Then my biopsy came back and my doctor recommended that I have a hysterectomy at my age to be safe. It was early signs of cervical cancer which she called, very aggressive. I had never been so scared in my life. Here I was going through a divorce with three small children and now this. . .Are you kidding me?

After sitting down talking with my doctor, she agreed to do a procedure to try and remove it first and if that didn't work she was going to send me to an oncologist and told me to prepare for a hysterectomy. To her surprise and my answered prayers it worked. Of course now I go in every six months for a check up.

As most of you know Vicki and I have started a new company called WinesbyWives.com It is a monthly affordable wine club that gives 10 percent to a charity of our choice. I have chosen living beyond breast cancer for the first quarter. My charity will change each quarter. If you have a charity you would like me to help, please let me know and I will take a look at it.

The best part of being in my 40s is that I started to feel more secure with my self and acceptive of my body. I now work hard to keep my self healthy with diet and exercise. I love the way I look without my implants and do not miss them at all. I have accepted that I will never look 25, or even 35, again and it kinda sucks. . .not gonna lie!

It has also inspired me to open up my own fitness studio that has been more challenging then I thought. But I am working away, and it's just a matter of time before we will be open. My goal is to help other men and woman get their best body back and to educate people in healthy living with monthly speakers.

Think about this, my favorite quote from Jillian Michaels:

"Today I want you to ask yourself this one question: Why Not You? Why not you to do something for work that you love? Why not you to have a healthy body? Why not you to have a healthy love? Why not you to be, have, or do anything you have ever dreamed? We are so quick to think others are deserving over ourselves. The truth is that we are all deserving. . .SO WHY NOT YOU?!?"

Tamra Barney
www.tamra-barney.com