Close to my Shoulder Pads

Being a wild child of the '80s I will hold that decade very close to my shoulder pads. I am not sure if it was the neon, the feathered hair, the Brat Pack, Jeff Spicoli, Pacman, Mr. Zog's sex wax, or Mr. Bill that made it so totally RAD? All I know is I will dress up in '80s clothes any chance I get.

I thought everyone look amazing and really put a lot of thought into their costumes. It was great seeing Heather all sexed up, since she is usually very conservative. Alexis was spot on Material Girl. Slade looked more like Joe Dirt, and Vicki did kind of have a Peg Bundy thing going on. Eddie still looked hot in his rocker attire and Terry made me laugh so hard. . .OMG

Watching Vicki made me sad. She was so overwhelmed, and I feel bad that maybe I wasn't there for her as much as I should have been. The emotions of going through a divorce and her daughter having surgery were too much for any woman to handle. I think when it comes to Vic she seems so strong all the time that you don't think she needs much help, but truth is I'm finding out she is much more sensitive then she seems. xoxo

Lunch with Heather was nice, I can't say enough wonderful things about her and Terry. Heather is a smart cookie and always gives me the best advice. I'm not sure what advice was better that day. . .push away the carbs or kill Slade with kindness?

I thought I would do my blog a little different this week. I am answering your questions about last night’s episode from my Facebook and Twitter.

Q. Tamra, loved the '80s themed party! Do you think Gretchen should have tried a little harder to persuade Slade to not involve you and the other housewives at Improv? Has this had an impact on your friendship today?
A. I'm not 100 percent convinced that she did not know he was going to use us in his act, after all me and Vicki were not invited for a reason. No, it really has not impacted our friendship in the long run. At first I was a little pissed off, but I got over it.

Q. I have two questions for you: 1. Would you ever get married again? 2. Given that you've been through a lot recently, divorce, etc., is there anything you would have done differently or would do differently in future (romance wise)?
A. Yes, I can't wait to be married again. Eddie is an amazing guy and I love him with all my heart. There are a lot of things I could have done different in my life, but you learn from your mistakes. One thing I will never do again is settle.

Q. Why did you allow Slade to come to your party?
A. The party was planned and the guys were invited prior to the Improv act. I was not even sure that Slade would show up to the party after what he did at the Improv.

Q. Do you really ever hang with any of the O.C. cast when not filming?
A. Yes, Some of us do hang out off camera. I have been good friends with Vicki for five years and we do a lot together. Heather, Gretchen, and I hang out and sometimes we allow the guys to tag along LOL.

Q. Why do you defend a man like Slade who called your good friend a pig?
A I have never defended Slade for what he did. I had a talk with Vicki in her kitchen and said "let's kill him with kindness" SO, I am trying my hardest to do just that. Being the bigger person is sometimes much harder.

Q. What do you think of Alexis' new nose?
A. I think it looks great. I think Alexis is a very pretty girl. I could see why she wanted it fixed. She had a rather large bump on her nose and it bugged her.

Q. How has your relationship with Eddie been since the incident at Catalina? I hope well. . .You guys are sooo cute together!
A. We are doing amazing, Every couple gets into arguments. It's how you recover that counts. He is so kind hearted and we talk every issue through without judging. That was the biggest argument we have ever been in, we usually don't ever fight.

Q. More of a statement but I hope you don't blame Gretchen for tonight's show SLADE put on.
A. I don't blame Gretchen for what came out of Slade's mouth at all. As you can see I called her to talk about it, I never blamed her.

Q. Does Eddie play a role in your kids lives or because of Simon and the new girlfriend does he not?
A. Yes Eddie is in my life and my kids ARE my life. We enjoying doing things as a family, however we took our time with the kids so they would feel comfortable.

Q. Is Simon a deadbeat like the other Housewives' men?
A. No, he is an amazing dad that loves his kids. We share 50/50 custody and have agreed to not get support for the other. I am not a believer of men having to take care of woman if they are capable of taking care of themselves. Of course if either of us need financial help we would be there for each other

Q. What is your favorite '80s song?
A. That is a hard one. . . so many! Def Leppard "Pour Some Sugar On Me" (1987), Madonna "Like a Virgin" (1984), Whitesnake "Here I Go Again" (1982), and The Go-Go's "Our Lips Are Sealed" (1981).

Q.Why do you think Alexis is so afraid of going under anesthesia to repair her "breathing issues" if she has had plastic surgery before?
A. Hmmm, well I think it is scary to go under regardless of what your doing. But most of all I think she is kind of a drama queen.

Q. Do you spray tan?
A. I have, but I don't like too. I feel like when your in your 40s a tan makes your skin look older. I do use Sally Hansen Salon Airbrush legs when I wear short dress. It is cheap and washes off in the shower.

Q. Can you develop a business designed for at home consultations with diets and exercise?
A. I am not qualified to do that just yet, but I am getting certified to teach various group fitness classes. I will be having free seminars at my fitness studio on diet and exercise. I will keep you posted.

Q. Are you and Slade on better terms now?
A. Yes, we went through years of nonsense. I did not just wake up one day and say "Let's rip on Slade." Vicki and I were both a punching bag for Slade for many years. It is a two way street and none of us were innocent.

Q. Still friends with Gretchen?
A. Yes, we have become really good friends.

Q. Do you plan to have any kids with Eddie???
A. Well, I am not to sure if I'm going to physically have more kids or if it's even possible. But we are open to adoption and surrogacy.

Q. What's your secret to a nice butt? You look great at the '80s party!
A. HAH, spandex! I have always had a booty for a small girl. I do lots of squats and lunges. I still have more jiggle than I want, but I am working on it.

Q. Tamra why was Slade there??
A. The million dollar question! I had invited all the men to surprise the woman prior to the Improv show. I was not going to un-invite Slade over a dumb improv act. Remember, I was trying something new. . .KILL HIM WITH KINDNESS!

Q. You seem so much happier this season. Making amends with Gretchen and taking the high road in the Slade situation was great to see!! Not to mention your new hot bod! Whats your secret?
A. I am in a new chapter of my life now. Eddie is such a positive role model and motivating person, I think, and he is rubbing off on me. I really do think your 40s are the best time of your life. I am more comfortable in my own skin and care less about what people think about me. I will always be a smart ass and will often come across as mean because I always go for the joke, I cant help my self.

Q. Where did you get the shirt you were wearing last episode, when you were out walking with Eddie?
A. Otomix.com

Q. How do you stay neutral between Vicki and Gretchen?
A. It was hard. I saw both sides of the argument and I knew that I had to keep out. As you know I am normally not one to keep my mouth shut, but I really didn't have a place in this argument. I had already talked to Gretchen about it and was planning on talking to Slade when the time was right. I don't want any more petty arguing in my life. It's toxic and I have moved on.

Q. Why did you betray Vicki by inviting Slade to your party? It seems like your desperately kissing Gretchen ass, and rolling Vicki under the bus! How could you do that to your friend?
A. I have gotten this question a lot. As you know the men were invited prior to the improv act. I am not kissing Gretchen's ass at all. Remember there is real life time and TV time. I do not feel like I have rolled over Vicki at all. I keep hearing Vicki saying things like "How could she do this to me?" and "Where is your loyalty?" Don't let "sound bites" persuade you into thinking something different is going on, actions speak louder than words. I have NOT done a thing to Vicki. The funny thing with TV is. . .if you hear me say over and over again "She hurt me. She hurt me." you will believe I hurt her even if you never saw a thing happen. Be smart!

Q. What did you have to do to get the boys to dressed up and keep it a secret from the other housewives???
A. I begged the guys to NOT tell the woman. I even volunteered to help them with their costumes since they didn't have their wives to help out. I am not sure if it was a total surprise, but I hope so. Not too many surprises left in this world.

Tamra Barney
www.tamra-barney.com