Filled With Sadness

As I write this week's blog, I am in my daughter Briana's hospital room for the fourth day due to a CSF Leak (cerebral spinal fluid). My heart is filled with sadness, and the tears that roll down my face are all too common lately. I am so ready for peace, health, and happiness, since this first half of this year has been anything but.  The CSF leak has caused Briana to have a terribly painful headache, which the doctors have not been able to get under control. She has been on a morphine pain drip now for three days, but it has not relieved the pain enough for her to go home. Tomorrow she is having a procedure called a blood patch, which should help her symptoms, but the one they did on Friday didn't help. Please keep my baby in your prayers. Thank you.

Ironically I write my blog tonight from Briana's hospital room, which is in the same hospital I was in during tonight's episode. We have been way too many hospitals lately between the two of us. 

I'll do my best to explain the timeline of how everything unfolded on the day of Alexis' dress luncheon. I was getting ready to leave work and head over to the restaurant to see Alexis' dresses line, and I decided to go to ladies room prior to leaving. Not to get to into too many details, when I looked down the entire toilet was filled with blood. It looked like someone was shot, and it was as if a blood valve had been turned on. It scared me, and I ran to tell Heidi and Danielle what was happening, and they immediately called Briana. I sat down with towels collecting my blood and waited for Briana to come pick me up. She immediately drove me to the emergency room and they started an IV right away. They said I had lost a lot of blood and probably would need a procedure in the morning to find out the source and the extent of the bleed. The last thing I was worried about at that time was Alexis' dress party. I couldn't belive Gretchen thought I was faking it and thought my "timing" was a coincidence. I had texted pictures of my IV and my hospital gown, so I'm not sure how anyone could think this was a planned illness. I turned from shocked to mad when I realized how insensitive she was being. 

I had the procedure in the morning and was diagnosed with five ulcers in my colon and diverticulitis. Watching tonight's episode really made me very sad. I thought, "What kind of people am I associating with that would accuse me of something so terrible like Gretchen did?" Seeing Tamra truly concerned about me and offering to come be with me was very sweet. Briana had told Tamra not to worry about coming to the hospital, and that's why she didn't.  I know if she was able to go and be with me, she would have.

It was nice seeing Tamra and Eddie and Peggy and Micah go to Vegas for a couples' weekend. I love going to Vegas, because there are always so many things to do there. If it's not shopping, it's fine dining or laying by the pool.  It's been great having Peggy this year, since she seems to be a good balance for all of us.

Gretchen really gets personal this week about her relationship with Slade and her decision to marry him or not. I have really tried to stay out of Slade's child support issues/talks, as I don't think it's any of my business. He obviously has fallen on hard times, and with the health issues with Grayson it has only compounded his financial problems. What I have learned from watching them is that Slade does love Gretchen a lot, and if he could have all his financial issues go away, he would. I sure wouldn't want anyone in my financial issues, and therefore I am not going to question or get into his. I wish both of them the best, and sometimes you have to do what's right for you, not what everyone else thinks you should do.

Next weekend I will be in Louisiana at the Bayou Country Music Fest, which I am really looking forward to. I love country music and this is something that will hopefully get my mind off of things at home. If any of you are planning on going, make sure you say hi to me if you see me.

I am wishing all of you a safe and healthy Memorial Day weekend. Thank you again for all of your love, support and prayers for me and my family during this time of transition and healing. Your amazing messages have inspired me to keep doing the right thing -- to pursue my dreams and happiness, and to follow my gut.

Warmly,

Vicki Gunvalson

www.vickigunvalson.com

PS: Thanking all of you again for entrusting Coto Insurance for all of your life insurance needs. We are passionate about our business and sincerely thank you for allowing us to service your needs.