Smoke and Mirrors (and Wine)

This week's episode was all about appearances -- keeping them up, spicing them up, dispelling false ones. Vicki's bubbly veneer finally cracked over her Donn drama, and it's not looking pretty. However Peggy and Alexis showed they're not camera shy and got their sexy on for their men. Tamra finally put all the rumors about her kiss with Fernanda to rest with the help of Lynne. Perhaps the best line of the episode came from the Cuff Love proprietor when she explained how she would handle being approached for a lady kiss: "I can't, I'm so straight." Oh, Lynne, always so to the point. And if you're looking for a little more quality time with Lynne, enjoy this unseen footage of her at a photo shoot for her new venture -- dog collars:

Let's take a closer look at what we can learn from our O.C. 'Wives this week.

Marriage

The steady deterioration of Vicki and Donn's relationship is definitely hard to watch. It seems only yesterday that they had just refilled their love tanks and renewed their vows. But Vicki's actions have revealed some warning signs of trouble: 

1. Semi-pointedly not making any eye contact during a conversation with your partner

2. Semi-pointedly not answering your partner's questions right away

3. Crying during a wine tasting and then saying, "Everything's perfect."

You know things are bad when Vicki can't stay positive during a girls' outing at a winery. 

Modeling

Peggy taught us that the best way to keep things spicy with your husband is to provide him with a special reminder of how hot you are. And that reminder should come in the form of racy "boudoir" photos. My question is, where does one keep these pictures? I doubt you want them hanging in the hall with the kids' grade school photos, and you can't just have them in an album on your coffee table. Maybe Peggy and Micah have a special boudoir photo drawer with some sort of lock on it. 

During Alexis' photo shoot we learned the importance of providing a variety of poses. She was laying on the ground, voguing on the stairs, and spinning her necklace like a helicopter. I don't think Tyra would have complained about her film at all, Alexis was smizing and working it like a pro. When Jim was directing her though, I did have to wonder if he was just hoping to get some shots for his own boudoir photo collection. Check out some of Alexis' best work in our Alexis Couture photo gallery. 

Most importantly, if you set off a fire alarm with your smoke machine, just keep on posing. Fashion stops for no one!

Honesty

Slade learned that hard way that you should always tell your mother everything. Because she wasn't too clear on what he does for a living, Slade got put through the ringer on TV. You're evidently never to old to get the "why don't you become a lawyer" speech. Don't mess with Mama Smiley!

Next week things go from bad to worse between Simon and Tamra after she calls the cops on him. Oh, and Jeana's back, and she's not playing nice.