Bad Behavior

Where do I begin? This season was the hardest season ever for me to be part of. At times I felt I was in a viper pit. The venom was out in full force by some of the ladies I couldn't believe how shaken I was after my fight with Jill. I also couldn't believe how Jill badmouthed me after the fight to some of the girls. I didn't blame her or ask any one to take sides the way she did. Jill was filled with so much ill-will and animosity toward me, and that's why I had to end it. I actually got hysterical after when I cried, as I couldn't believe the way she was towards me. I really believe Jill sees everything only from her vantage point.

"She didn't own any of it", says Jill about me. I think it's quite the opposite. Jill never owned anything she has done. You need to read my newsletter to learn more about this. Please sign up at RamonaSinger.com.

LuAnn always has to interfere and in a negative way. I was so distraught over the situation; it was like she wanted to put salt in my wounds. What kind of person does that? This is just like when she got in the way of Bethenny and Jill last season. She is doing the same thing with me and Jill. How could she say, "What did you do to upset Jill?" Again, taking sides -- and of course not mine. We all had to go to dinner that night. I told myself I was going to make the most of it and not let my fight with Jill get to me. The next day I was feeling much worse than before. Thanks goodness for Alex. She has become such a great friend and it helped so much to talk with her. I truly have come to love and admire Alex, I cherish our friendship. I never asked her to speak to LuAnn for me, but I did express to her that I did not have the strength to speak or deal with LuAnn. Luann was hounding me to talk with her, and I knew it was not about the weather. Alex was trying to protect me like a bear with her cubs. I was so broken after my discussion with Jill and Alex knew that.

I was appalled how rude LuAnn and Kelly were to Alex. Alex was looking to have a simple discussion and they were so mean to her. I did not think such behavior existed in these adult women. I have yet to write anything about Kelly this season but she lost it on Alex. She is really out there; it was a glimmer of how she was acting in St. John last year.

Sonja always makes me giggle and laugh. It was the best time sneaking out to look at the gowns. It took away my sadness and really cheered me up! That was the distraction I needed. By the end of the trip Sonja was always in my room and we became roommates.

I know I was much more shaken up than Jill about our heated discussion. Jill says she will be different toward me in the future, and part of me wants to believe it but another part thinks she can never change. I will give her the benefit of the doubt though.

How funny is it that at our last dinner LuAnn wore my earring designs I had given to her from True Faith Jewelry! I have gotten some many comments about the gold leaf jewelry that I wore on the past two episodes. All the jewelry I wore in Morocco is from True Faith, which was perfect for the exotic country.

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