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War of Words

The Real Husband talks about his feud with LuAnn and Jill's not so "normal thoughts."

By Mario Singer

I would never have thought that a remark of mine that was not even made on the show would start a war between the Housewives. I think LuAnn and Jill's reaction and continued obsession was overkill. I can recall a lot worse being said by others on the show. One thing I know is that I did not say "BRING IT ON BITCH." I called LuAnn in the hopes that she would come to our Labor Day luncheon and we could discuss what was bothering her about what she overheard me say many weeks ago at Polo. Looks to me like it is Jill who is not having "normal thoughts." Why did Jill get involved anyway? She just wanted to add fuel to the fire and make it into much more than it should have been. Perhaps if LuAnn came to the luncheon, she would have received the apology from me she wanted. I found it somewhat strange when Jill made the comment about how happy she was that the Count was not there. Surprising that LuAnn did not take offense to that remark as well, but acted as though she never even heard it.

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When we arrived on Friday in the Hamptons a good friend of ours had a wonderful dinner party. Jill and Bobby came sans LuAnn. I guess Jill’s excuse about not leaving LuAnn alone because she was her house guest only pertains to Ramona. Since our lunch was on Monday, Jill could have certainly come as she was heading back to the city and our home was on the way back. Her weekend with LuAnn was at an end so that was a pretty lame excuse on her part.

As you can see Alex, Simon and Ramona and I have come a long way since last season. Not only are we getting along, but Simon and I are now on the same wavelength about the way we dress. Guess we should not go to the same designer. We are enjoying one another's company and they seem much more at ease now that they have gotten past social climbing and are just being themselves. Alex was honest enough to let us know that LuAnn had invited them to her house. I must have missed the chapter in LuAnn's etiquette book about declining an invitation for an intimate lunch but then inviting guests of the party you did not attend to your home. It seems LuAnn can get away with that kind of behavior because she wrote the book on bad manners and as such does not have to be "a countessable."

Bethenny finally has it all with her new love Jason. He is a great guy and I am very happy for all her success, unlike some of the other housewives on the show. I look forward to their marriage and birth of their child.

Kelly is posing for Playboy but since it is the 40th anniversary it is not really like posing for Playboy. She did say that, right? She cannot understand why Bobby collects and enjoys Playboy. That’s why they call it a men’s magazine. Funny that she would be surprised that guys she knows would want to pick up a copy of the issue. I have to think about that logic for a while...

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