Back with A Vengeance

So here we are BACK again! Season 3! This time, who comes back into this season with a vengeance?

After the obligatory recap of season 2 highlights, yes, yes Ramona, we know you don’t like us, yes, I feel the heat AGAIN, but wow, the finale, when we danced. What no recap of the ruining of certain f*ing surprises? And with that we are off to the intro credits and the original 5 women still have the same intro lines from Season 1 – just.seems.so.2008.

It’s the last weekend of the summer and Jill & Luann amble down the moorings in Sag Harbor looking for the boat commandeered by Ramona for the day but Jill only has one thing on her mind. Food! There’d better be some; it seems that their lunch plans weren’t going to be sufficient. Short haired Ramona wearing a bikini matching her hair color, pops out like up like a meerkat with way too much energy for the them. As part of Ramona’s season of renewal she had reached out to Alex. We had run into Mario & Ramona fairly often between seasons & I think you all know by now that neither Alex nor I are one to hold grudges. Off camera we’d enjoyed spending limited time together and so when Ramona asked Alex to join her she readily accepted. Of course, Ramona’s renewed self, still couldn’t resist a dig on whether Alex needed to ask my permission. All I will say on that, is that Alex and I continue to pay a serious price for going along with the GNO storyline of season 1. This season we hope that that old piece of humbug will be consigned to history. Now let’s move on... .

Alex boards the boat – Ramona channels Cameron Diaz (or perhaps Princess Fiona) when in fact she’s neither, and of course Luann (like me) is quick to contradict. Ramona’s new jewelry line comes out and then the woman, whose every second word last season was ZZZZZZAAAAAAARRRRRRRIIIIIINNNNNNN Fabrics, is shocked that how tacky it is to be showcasing something on a boat. Jill goes on some more and it seems she would have been OK with it if Ramona had been handing out pieces to them all, like ice cubes on a summer’s day. The B word is brought up and Jill starts on about why they fell out. There are always two sides to every story & I have busted heads with them both, but for me the telling line of Jill’s was this “it was all about what I (Jill) could do for her (Bethenny).” You might remember last season a scene where Ramona offended Bethenny when she mentioned that Jill liked her as she was an underdog, & at the time I too was surprised but Jill does need to be top dog and when she is no longer she goes seeking another; who she’ll find this season?

Right on cue we’re off to Bethenny, soon to be sans red robe but wearing pasties & flesh colored knickers. It’s the PETA photoshoot and just what’s the New York sky line without wooden water towers and Bethenny Frankel’s booty!

Back to the boat, Luann suggests that Ramona’s always the first to strip off and get into the pool (and we all know how Ramona feels about nudity) but after not wanting to talk about Mario’s dismissal of LuAnn a few weeks prior Luann decided she would in fact do so. Mario’s play on words has hurt Luann so much that she declines her prior invitation to visit Ramona & Mario this Labor Day. With Jill gleefully egging Luann on an argument ensues which frankly should have been tabled until the protagonist was present. Ramona’s waterworks seemed out of character until her talking head interview referenced the difficult relationship she had had with her father.

It seems Tequila solves all ills and so with shots all round, the gaggle of girls are all giggly again.

Back in the City, Bethenny’s exhausted after standing on a rooftop & then busily deleting emails from Jill, which gives her an excuse to expand on the reasons their relationship went south. It’s seems to be focused on who was the most needy and certainly with Bethenny finding love with Jason her need for Jill was lessened.

Jason arrives and subtle differences in Bethenny are seen. It’s amazing how being in love softens a person and makes you do things that seemed weird when single. Just wait until she’s a Mother! I wonder if in time Bethenny will become more tolerant of the relationship between Alex & me?

The newly minted mid alphabet girls (JKL) meet for lunch & Luann recaps Mario’s use of Countless, again! So initially she was upset that a photographer overheard him say it but now it’s been repeated for millions to hear. Mmmmm. Kellyspeak enters the fray right here, right now and finally we learn why she can be linguistically challenged; first she was Rapunzel stuck in the Hamptons with two children and then she’s wanting to Robin to a Batman. OK then ... I’ll have one of what she’s having! Thankfully Luann didn’t ask Rapunzel to let her hair down as no doubt Holy Batman would have immediately used it to scale the castle.

The three of them all explain their disdain for Bethenny, meanwhile in Montauk Jason helps Bethenny analyze Jill. Bethenny brings up the underdog line which I referenced earlier. So maybe there is something to it.

Back at lunch a fairly difficult conversation ensues and we learn from Kelly that ‘everything’ was dismissed. However she goes on to state that she did some community service working with an amazing organization on domestic violence. This scene is a little uncomfortable to watch as just imagine if the roles were reversed and three men were discussing the misdemeanor conviction of one of them, while the other is deriding the victim for walking to the police station. Hmmm.

After a halting conversation about Luann alone, post divorce, we move to Bridgehampton where Bethenny apologizes to Jason as she stops for a drink with Luann. Gee, great way to start a meeting arguing over yesterday’s cancelation and then who drove for 90 minutes to get there but that’s followed by the most rehearsed line of the season as Luann’s vengeance comes out over who’s paying for the drinks. Clearly she is still stung over last season’s surfing lesson. As Bethenny says, what is it about meeting another woman in a bar for a drink? Anyway, why exactly did Bethenny invite Luann for drinks at this little session? Bethenny throws some barbs but they’re deemed inappropriate & below the belt. However, after promising to not make any comments behind Luann’s back we cut to the talking head interview of Bethenny and we hear Bethenny call her a ‘dumb drag queen’. Back in the bar they give each other an insincere hug and that’s it for tonight.

A neat little preview of what’s coming up throughout this season shows that there is a lot that happens. Often the worst part of seeing highlights is that when the eventual footage is shown we’ve already seen the best. From what I know of this season that preview is just a smidgen of what’s coming up.

Enjoy the ride!