Siggy Flicker: The Crab Cakes Were Perfection
"Margaret can't pass up an opportunity to add fuel to the fire and cause division among my friends."
Less than 48 hours after introducing Margaret to our group, I am being told how I should feel and what I can't say. Margaret can't pass up an opportunity to add fuel to the fire and cause division among my friends.
While I continued to invite Margaret to the activities I planned, she didn't feel the need to reciprocate. She organized a memorial for Teresa's mother, ordered a wreath and booked a paddle board instructor from my beach club—my private beach club—and never said a word to me. Me, the member of the beach club who sponsored the weekend. This means she used my name to get into my beach club to plan an event for people she met less than 48 hours earlier. Yet she wants us to believe it slipped her mind to tell me? And it slipped her mind to tell Dolores who has known Teresa and her mother since she was 16 years old? The memorial was not spontaneous. Its planning was premeditated and calculated.
When Margaret was asked why she excluded Dolores and me from the memorial, she said she had no intention of excluding us, but the ceremony was for Teresa and Melissa, not Siggy and Dolores. Classic Margaret, she doesn't apologize, she justifies.
I want to thank the best friend in the whole world, Lori Konsker, for allowing us into her home for lunch, swimming, and tennis with professional instructors. I'm sorry the day was a bit hectic.
When Margaret asked Dolores if I was OK, it wasn't out of concern for my well being, it was Margaret's way of opening a dialogue to slam me with the only person in the group who wasn't mocking my disappointment. If it was out of concern, Margaret would have shown some level of empathy for my feelings. Instead, Margaret's response was to spew a prepared list of complaints about me that she felt required me to apologize. When Dolores made it clear that she wasn't susceptible to Margaret's "fake it till you make it" brand of concern, Margaret resorted to labeling Dolores a mini Siggy. After all, how could anyone not agree with Margaret's speed-date assessment of my character. It's amazing how Margaret, the self-proclaimed feminist, can be so judgmental towards people she's known for less than 48 hours.
Most amusing was when Margaret clearly misrepresents what Dolores said to her when reporting back. Margaret tells Teresa and Melissa that Dolores said, "That's just Siggy. You have to accept her." Classic Margaret, throw fuel on the fire, even when the entire mountain is already burning.
The trip went to hell in a hand basket when the ladies arrived at my home for dinner. Melissa walked into my home, pointed to a wall of my photographs and declared them "all my personalities.'" Margaret chimed in to declare them to be a "shrine to Siggy." In reality, the photos are from a shoot that my husband lovingly presented to me as a gift.
You could feel the tension. The truth is that the conflict stopped being about the flying birthday cake as soon as my "friends" saw how upset I was and completely disregarded my feelings. Whether they felt like my reaction was valid or not, they should care that their friend was distraught. They don't have to be sorry about destroying a cake in order to be sorry that I'm sad and crying as I am scraping what's left of the cake off the restaurant floor.
So as they arrived for dinner, I needed to discuss it and clear the air. Each took their shots. Melissa was holding onto her belief that she was just having fun. Classic Margaret couldn't wait to mock my sensitivity, call me Soggy and minimize my feelings. Teresa identified insults that she claims I made. I was so upset and babala (drunk) that I didn't remember some of what Teresa was attributing to me.
Melissa listed words that I must eliminate from my vocabulary immediately. According to Melissa, I can't say "you're acting like trash." I guess Melissa referencing multiple personalities or drug use is OK to say. I must remember that "you're garbage" is ok but "acting like trash" is not allowed.
Then the woman who froths at the mouth anytime she can spin the conversation into sex started screaming at me in my home, "Don't f---ing use that word in my presence again!" I'm sorry, come again? I never got the memo of what I can and cannot say in front of Danielle who I was just getting to know for the first time. Don't you know when you try to shush me, I get louder? See what I did there?
It was upsetting to hear Teresa say Dolores should have backed her when I couldn't remember saying things at the flying cake party. Really? You joined a woman you just met against me and your decades long friend. Do you realize if you had said hey guys they're my friends, this would have stopped on your ride to my beach club.
I love you all for sticking with us to find out where we go from here. Do you think what happened in Boca will stay in Boca?
Until next week, come see me @Siggyflicker on twitter,on Instagram and on Facebook.
XO
