Wine Tears

No. 3 - Eggmits?

Wow. Well that was a whole lot of episode. Since you're probably still coming down from the phone call drama and the impending Toast Gate scandal, I figured you might need some comic relief. Thus I bring you the eggmit.

What's an eggmit you say? It's Melissa Gorga's signature way of saying admit. Why does she say it that way? Well, I think it's one of life's great mysteries. Maybe it's a Jersey thing? Or perhaps she's just hoping to start a trend. First the music industry, and now the English language -- Melissa is taking over the world! Soon enough we'll all be speaking Gorga.

Just wait, it will be all the rage. You have to eggmit, it's pretty catchy...No. 2 - Salon de Kathy

One of the discoveries we made in this episode was that Kathy was meant to run a hair salon. I know, I know, she used to do hair in the past, but as soon as she told Caroline to "entree" into her makeshift Napa salon, I was entranced and thought, "Kathy needs to be back behind the chair." (Side note: Kathy should be required to speak French every week. It's my new happy place.)

Seriously though, she created the salon atmosphere with a chair, a comb, and a curling iron. Hair was done and gossip was discussed the moment Kathy started on Caroline's hair. Jacqueline comes in, more hair is curled, more tea is spilled. Just think if Kathy re-opened Chateau... it would be a place full of hairspray, baked goods, and serious drama a.k.a. the most wonderful place on Earth (or at least in New Jersey). No. 1 - Wine Tears

It's hard to throw a good birthday for a mom. Moms have a knack for making it extremely difficult to celebrate their birthday -- they don't want anything, they don't want a big party, etc. But you know they do, which leaves you at a total loss as to how to proceed. Thus I think the Manzo kids had the right idea -- disregard anything mom says, we're throwing a surprise party. Deal with it!

And really who can argue with a beautiful dinner overlooking a Napa vineyard? Couple that with some beautiful and emotional speeches from your children and you have yourself an undeniably successful fete. Hats off to you, Albie, Chris, and Lauren. (Though I think my own mother will have to settle for a view of the rolling hills of the backyard this year.)

Side note: Although Joe Giudice's speech was at first a little awkward (seeing as he couldn't remember The Brownstone), he did manage to make it pretty touching. With all the wine that was consumed, I'm surprised everyone wasn't sobbing throughout the entire meal like Teresa. Next week the drama goes from high to explosive in the aftermath of Speech Gate.