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Caroline explains why she didn't attend Kathy's pool party.

By Caroline Manzo May 13, 2012, 9:49 PM ET

Happy Mothers Day! I hope you had a great day. I’m writing this as I’m waiting for Lauren to get ready. My kids are taking me out on this beautiful, sunny day, so I’m happy.

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I’m going say this for the last time -- an apology is only an apology when it’s sincere. Issues go way beyond the cookbook. The cookbook is trivial nonsense. I don’t attack anyone, I respond to comments made about me. I don’t back down, and I won’t play the game. I say it as I see it and will never hide behind an insincere apology or a fake friendship. If that’s being a bully, then so be it. I’m a bully.

My kids drive me nuts, they love to tease me and see how far they can push the envelope before I snap. They almost got me this time. The boys are on the cusp of seeing BLK really become a nationally recognized brand and BAM! Christopher is buying a Jaguar! No! Slow down! It’s too soon, save your money! This is what was going through my mind as I walked into the dealership. It was quite a surprise. I love Al, my kids, and my car!

The Bitch Magnet

Victoria hit the nail on the head -- yes, I stayed away from the pool party on purpose. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I’m keeping everyone at arms length, because I don’t want to be a wedge in the Gorga/Giudice/Wakile issue. This was an intimate family party. If I went every move I made would have been analyzed. Who sat with who, what did you say to her, what did she say to you? Not playing, staying away makes the most sense. I spoke to Kathy about it, and I hope she and Rich understand.

P.S. I LOVE ROSIE! She is pure sunshine, absolute sunshine.

Albert and I have been together over 30 years. We dated for three years and will be celebrating our 28th Anniversary in July. I love that man more than words can say. I hit the jackpot. He is kind, he is funny, he is strong, he is loving, a great dad, and my best friend. We’ve been through everything together; we faced the hard times and came through it stronger and better for it. Life is good.

That’s it for now, see you all next week. My kids are waiting for me!

xoxoxo