Who's Stalking Whom?

First I would like to say that I had such an amazing time at the Gay Pride Parade in New York City this past weekend! It was nice meeting so many of you! I had a lot of fun! My Aunt Dina was on a float there too! Did any of you see her?

Also, I am getting involved with the organization To Write Love on Her Arms. I have a lot of great ideas planned, so look on my twitter for any updates on that and any other future plans I have! @_ashleyholmes ! Follow me! I love hearing from all of you.

OK, so this episode starts off with my Aunt Caroline having lunch with my Aunt Fran and my Aunt Cookie. How cute are they together? Aunt Fran made me laugh a lot in this scene. Ugh, I hate seeing my Aunt Caroline cry, I get teary every time. She’s a tough woman, so when she cries I can’t take it. It upsets me that my Aunt Caroline is getting so heartbroken about the fact that my cousins are growing up.

I don’t get why Danielle made such a big deal at Posche. As soon as Danielle walked into Posche, Donna quickly got off the phone with Kim D. and was ready to help Danielle. Then Danielle’s phone rings, and she left the store to stand outside. Danielle then proceeds to scare poor Jillian by telling her that she has "a little situation." Then Danielle storms back into Posche (while still on the phone with Jillian) and asks Donna (who has also continued her phone call) to tell Kim to please call her back. Seeing as Donna was on the phone, of course she is going to tell her to "hold on one second." I thought Donna’s behavior was perfectly acceptable. Kim D. then called Danielle back, and Danielle proceeded to tell Kim that it was bullshit that she was paying her water bill? Why is that so hard to believe? It’s not like Kim told her she had just gotten back from space or something. When Danielle finally storms back in to Posche, she begins to rant and ramble on to Kim D. about how she is unhappy and how Donna treated her "very unkindly." My favorite comment Danielle says is, "As your friend, I’m gonna say I love you too much to come in here and be treated like this." What? I know a lot of you are on edge about Kim G. and Kim D. I can’t talk about Kim G. yet, but I think you can start to see in this episode that Kim D. is pretty much fed up with Danielle and her behavior. Kim D. means well, she does.

The scene with my Aunt Caroline and Uncle Al in the kitchen made me so sad. I see what Caroline means by her kiddos not needing her as much as they used to. It’s sad. Though my Uncle Al made me laugh when he said, "How dare they grow up? That's rude!" He reminds me of Christopher so much. HAHA! Poor Aunt Caroline, I understand why she would want my Uncle Al to retire, but I also understand why my Uncle Al doesn’t want to. Who knows what the future holds, over all I think my Aunt Caroline will be OK.

I was going to Posche to get a pair of leggings I really wanted, and Kim D. asked me to model in her fashion show. Side note - how cute is Taz? I love him. In my interview I say I definitely considered modeling just because of my height, but I also said that I don’t think I have the body to model, at least NOT YET. Runway models are generally a lot skinnier than I am. Most of them are scary skinny, and bony, and I don’t find that attractive. I like that Khloe Kardashian, Jessica Biel body type. You know? However, I am definitely considering getting into acting. I have come out of my shell more in this past year, I think my boyfriend Derek is a big reason for that. He is slowly teaching me that I can feel comfortable in my own skin. The old flashback from the photo shoot made me cringe. I could have never seen that scene again and been happy. Ha! OK so, just to clear things up, I had been made aware prior to that visit to Posche that she was having a fashion show. I had also been made aware that Danielle had been asking Kim D. if Christine could model in it, and that Kim had said no, but I guess last minute they wanted some more outfits in the fashion show. So, I said yes, why wouldn’t I? I didn’t think it would end up being such a problem. Anyway, that is why I made that comment in my interview regarding why Kim asked me and not Christine. I’ll say it again, GO COWBOYS!

The quick scene of my mom and Teresa working out made me laugh. They are so funny together. "Screaming cat?" HAHA! I’ve never heard that one before, Teresa!

I feel bad for my mom. I had no idea that she was so stressed out about going to the fashion show. I knew she didn’t really want to go because Danielle was going to be there, but I didn’t know she was this torn about it. She isn’t even friends with Danielle anymore, and she still somehow gets sucked into her drama.

Bleh, I hate that I had to film with no makeup the day of the fashion show. I was sooo broken out! I know that the Posche fashion show wasn’t really a big deal, it was no Bryant Park. However, I was still excited to get a little taste of modeling. What was making me nervous was that I was being filmed for all of you to see! I can be pretty clumsy. As far as my last words before the show, I did live up to them. I didn’t do ANYTHING to Danielle, until she did something first.

I thought the room of the fashion show was sooo beautiful. Kim D. did such a good job. I thought Kim’s comment, "It takes a long time to get you together, but when you’re put together you look gorgeous," was a little rude, but I had to admit, it was kind of true! Fast forward to us sitting down at the table: GREGORY!!! I LOVE GREG BENNET. He was looking good in his red shirt, don’t you think? Anyway, the scene where Danielle walks in made me laugh, because if you were paying attention, as she is walking in you can see me in the dressing room on the left. I was about to leave the dressing room, until my friend saw Danielle walk by and told me I probably shouldn’t walk out yet. Danielle said that when she walked in, she knew everyone. I’ll keep it short and sweet - NO, she didn’t. Insane. Danielle's comment, "They are just so desperate to get at me that they have to befriend someone who was my friend," was especially pathetic. OK, NO ONE is desperate to get to you, no one! You’re the one that is obsessed with us, remember? Also, Kim D. owns a local clothing store where we all shop, we were as friendly with her as you were. You act like you guys were best friends or something. Kim D. invited us, we didn’t go begging her to let us come. Ha! For those of you who watched the show, you saw that my mom didn’t even want to go to the fashion show to begin with. Your true colors started to show once again in this episode Danielle. Your "ultimate diss needed to begin"? That’s mature. Way to "stay in the positive." Paris Hilton taught you how to pretend you're on the phone? Really? THAT’S what she taught you? Which reminds me Danielle, you have me a little confused. When the sex tape with Steve was brought up, you said two things. One, that you weren’t able to date and didn’t feel sexy. Two, that you weren’t comfortable in the bedroom. Hmm. Interesting. You had already filmed a sex tape at this point. I’ll give you one thing Danielle, you’re a great actress.

Now, back to the fashion show. If Danielle "didn't care who or what" was on the runway, why did she get so heated when she saw me? I have to admit when she called me a coke whore it took me a minute to realize she was insulting me. I thought she was talking in third person again. Danielle, you're calling ME a coke whore? Really? ME?! For the record, I have NEVER even touched that stuff, and I NEVER plan on it.

I KNOW that I am not a professional model. I was just having fun. I feel if I had the proper training I could be a decent model. Ha! I wish they showed me in the other outfits that I walked in. I loved all the outfits I wore, ironically the green dress I wore in the show was my least favorite of all of them, but it was still cute.

Back to Danielle and her bullshit, I love how she said Kim knew I had been harassing her. You always tell one side to every story you spew Danielle, at least I admit when I’ve been a bitch. You act like you are this innocent little lamb, when really you’re an aggressive, vicious lion. You act like I was harassing you so much, and you did nothing. You were the one who messaged me hateful things first. Anything I said back was just in response to your messages. You're the one who continued to try to contact me after I stopped responding! So don't even try to go there! I don’t give a f*ck about you! If you were to go away and leave my family and I alone, you would never hear your name come out of our mouths again, but you refuse to drop it. You are so desperate for attention that it’s pathetic. You will never move on from the past, and you will never change. You thrive on the drama and negative energy. You’re toxic. Move on Danielle.

Towards the end of the dinner, a staring contest began. I was eating, trying not to pay attention, and talking to Greg. A few of Danielle’s camera-hungry lap dogs began talking smack about me within earshot. I looked over to find Danielle and her friends staring at me. I tried to ignore it and continued eating. They would not stop. I kept hearing my name coming from their table, and every time I glanced over Danielle was staring at me. So I started to stare back. She then had the nerve to call ME the stalker? Really Danielle? Who’s stalking whom? By the way, I read your blog, you can take that "sincere" apology and shove it. Who are you trying to fool? Not me. You know that I know better. If you were really sorry Danielle, you wouldn’t still be trash talking all of us. Actions speak louder than words, so instead of all this talk about "love and light" and "staying in the positive" and being "sincerely sorry," prove it. That’s my challenge to you, PROVE IT. Also, before you even TRY to comment on MY mother’s parenting, you might want to work on your own first. My mom was doing a great job parenting that night. I am old enough to make my own decisions, and my mother’s parenting has nothing to do with them. You were trying to say 'like mother, like daughter,' but if you recall, my mother wasn’t even acknowledging you. Who are you to comment on anyone's parenting?

In respect to my mother, I thought it would be best if I just left. I went into the dressing room to start gathering my things and help clean up a little before I said my goodbyes. I got my things together, and then went into the production room to give my mic back. While I was taking my mic off I was watching the monitors. I saw my mom and Teresa sitting in the hallway on one monitor, and then I saw Danielle and Kim G. enter the hallway on another monitor. They then began to exchange words ... which I will continue to talk about in my next blog.

Until then,
xoxo Ashley