Lisa's "Peacemaker" Problems

Hello everyone! Sorry I'm so late with my blog about last week's episode! And don't worry, my thoughts on the bachelorette party will be coming later...

I want to address the label “peacemaker” that has been assigned to me throughout the season. In my life outside the show, I would say my life is peaceful. This is because I don't let negativity into my life. Unfortunately being on this show involves some negativity. When two of my friends are at a crossroad, frustrated, and can’t reach a solution on their own, I usually offer to mediate. Why? Because I would hope my friends would do the same for me. As the saying goes (words I live by), do onto others as you would have them do onto you. I prefer to call myself a connector.

I do not take sides unless I see with my own eyes that one side would completely blacken the name of another with no validity. I like to give everyone that comes into my life a fair chance and I try not to judge their past. I realize everyone makes mistakes, and I myself am guilty of that too. Who are we to judge? Who am I to judge? Life is about making mistakes and learning from them. I also never forget that there are two sides to a story and then there is the truth. Above all my main concern (which was perhaps none of my business) was that the relationship between their sons suffered from not being able to remain close due to their mothers feuding with one another. My heart was in the right place.

I felt Joanna was angry at the world while planning her wedding and took her frustrations out on me, since I was probably the one closest to her at that time amongst the group. She was dwelling on the past with Adriana and the fight they had (even though they had agreed to move forward), the fact that I remained friends with Adriana and didn't choose sides, that I was trying to make amends between Lea and Adriana, the absence of her sister, and the flawed relationship with Romain. I was deeply hurt and embarrassed that she chose to pick a fight with me at a public event, swore at me, and kicked me out of her wedding. I don't need friends who don't need me, so I felt at the time relieved she was showing this side of herself to me. I don't need to invest my time in a friendship that is not reciprocated, valued, or respected.

[video_clip_url:http://player.theplatform.com/p/PHSl-B/yT7k3t_YLXoZ/embed/select/K_edAsmy9B1x]As far as my conversation with Lea, I was simply frustrated that she refused to open up. My only mistake was to bring it up at her event. I realized I picked the wrong time and place to address it. Lea and I have a much deeper, meaningful friendship now than we did at the event. I feel it takes longer for her to trust and we are at that place now.

When Joanna apologized and asked me to again be in her wedding, I was hesitant but was trying to be understanding of her situation. I just wanted to move forward, so I accepted.

I was very happy to see Adriana and Lea open up. I guess my peacemaking skills may have paid off after all!

[video_clip_url:http://player.theplatform.com/p/PHSl-B/yT7k3t_YLXoZ/embed/select/DRjs_FvR3Xu0]

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Dr. Leonard Hochstein