Cary: I'm Glad We Went Through What We Did This Season
Though the drama of this season has been tough on her family, Cary believes that it's only made her relationship with her husband stronger.
Welcome to the finale! Whew! I have to admit, I’m ready to be done with this messy season. Of course, in situations like this, it’s expected to have one’s fair share of drama and scandal. There’s glitz, there’s glamour, and there’s cattiness. However, I strongly feel that SO many of our group conflicts would have been completely avoidable had we all done better at communicating with each other, and as we’ve all seen over the course of this year, straightforward communication is easier for some than others. This applies to friendships AND relationships.
Mark and I are a team. No matter what, we are partners and will always look out for each other. We have a very strong bond that I’ve always been abundantly proud of, but I’ve learned that this happiness can somehow threaten others. I believe it’s very important to take note of who celebrates your happiness and who is upset by it. These reactions are VERY telling about those surrounding you, and my husband and I have seen this firsthand. We are both very much over being LeeAnne acting like a bully toward us. It has been very hard for my family and has been hard on my marriage. My husband is a very compassionate and sensitive being, and he has quite frankly taken a full-on beating, and so have I. Words can’t describe how proud I am of him for handling this the way that he has. Yes, even he and I had our own power struggle this year, and I am happy to say that it is resolved. We’re both power players, and sometimes that means that we butt heads, but we are equals who work hard and play hard — together. Every day we grow stronger and closer despite the haters out there. It’s actually heartbreaking to see how insecure and hollow one’s life must be to behave so aggressively towards people like us that they don’t even know. Lashing out in the ways we’ve seen this year only raises a giant red flag of jealousy, and those sick, sad attacks are not jokes. They’re intended to cut deep. Thankfully, the love in our home is deeper. As a matter of fact, it forces us to take things on as a more united front, and I’m glad to know that my husband has my back and that I have his.
Our practice has become very successful due to our strong love for what we do as a team and keeping each other sharp. I am now working two days a week with Mark and spending the rest of the time with Zuri and loving it! It feels so great to balance my time this way so that I don’t pull myself apart wearing so many different hats all at once. Don’t get me wrong: no life is 100% perfect. I will always have room to grow and be driven to be a better mom, nurse, and wife, but I certainly feel less undue pressure now that we’ve found our true balance and bliss. Delivery is everything, and while Mark and I don’t always get that part right, we know each other better than anyone. And you know what? He was right! I still have a strong professional drive and could never give that up 100%. Communicating this in love, we have found our own way to make it all work and enjoy the best of both worlds. Check out www.drdeuber.com for more information on what we are currently up to in our practice!
Looking back on things, I am glad that Brandi, Stephanie, and I went through what we did this season. I think it has made us stronger as women and as friends. We have all been through a lot in the last two years, and I think we each have developed an amazing respect for one another that I truly value. I forgave Brandi for the negative comments about my marriage because I knew she was very regretful and acting from a place of hurt. True friendships are worth saving though, and I think she has a heart of gold, and so does Steph.
Honestly, I’m not sure where to go from here with LeeAnne. She, unlike the other ladies, is not regretful, as she stated just recently on Watch What Happens Live. She has no regrets about what she has done to me and my family, and that is just beyond my comprehension. I think I could at least move on in a more positive direction if she would just take the Deuber name out of her mouth. She and her fiancé have continued to beat up on us and it just shows clearly that they will NEVER stop the hate. We have wished them well despite the things they’ve said and done, but they seem to be deeply unhappy people with a fierce need to shoot down others that are truly happy and successful. My life doesn’t even intersect with hers, and the FAR reach to be so nasty to me from such a non-factor position is just beyond logic. My happiness, confidence, and security shouldn’t threaten anyone. Success does not equate to condescension, and I wouldn’t even have to mention it if it didn’t seem to bother these people so much. It saddens me that our family continues to have to put up with these people acting like BULLIES to us, but we will continue to grow living in the light and let the shadows fall behind us, far away, where they belong.
Soon, we will all be reunited, couch-to-couch, and even more of our true colors will be shown. Before we make it there, though, I want to share special thanks to my ever-supportive friends (some that I’ve met and others that I haven’t!) for all the love and encouragement that you all have shared with me and my family. You have no idea how much even your smallest kindness has meant and helped block out the noise from those who are less happy. For all of your love and light, we thank you and send it right back many, many times over.
