Brandi: Is Cary Jealous of My Relationship with her "Ride or Die?"

What an amazing journey I get to share with you all and I thank you all for helping make this dream possible! I'm writing this the morning of 9/11 and once again I am speechless and heartbroken over this tragedy. So I want to take a moment and honor NYC and all who were and are affected by this gut wrenching tragedy. I know that heaven is a veil away and through God we will find peace in time. My heart continues to break for the communities ravished by this hurricane season. Please continue to pray with me to heal and recover all.

So Memphis here we come... I was excited to bring Cary Deuber and Stephanie Hollman with me, let loose and even go catfishing. I'm all about trying new adventures and think it's fun to throw them into this. They were great sports about it and we still laugh about the fun we had.

Meanwhile, back in Dallas I find it disturbing that the ladies would think I would brainwash Cary. I'm a hundred percent positive Cary is an intelligent woman with her own personality and wit. If anything, I thought it was disrespectful to acknowledge this as if Cary had no brains of her own.

Secondly, I do apologize if the ladies feel that I'm distant. I've actually never been told or thought of this way. Which also brings me to speaking about someone's physical features, I try to be a good parent and teach my children to never speak about someone's God given features. Are my eyes small and squinty, yes and I'm proud that God gave me eyes to see and that's a blessing. For someone that is trying to sell products to apparently make women feel more beautiful… I’ll pass. I'm sorry you have a Hard Night, probably because your negativity is toxic to your soul. I'll keep mine positive with not just a Good Morning but a fantastic day all around.

On the reason for not inviting LeeAnne Locken, this was time I needed with Stephanie and Cary. Given the fact that I was trying to salvage and mend a friendship, I didn’t want anyone else speaking for me. I realized LeeAnne and Stephanie and Cary still have a long journey ahead to mend their fences. I took this opportunity to praise LeeAnne's accomplishments and reassure them that LeeAnne wants a friendship with each of them. I expressed how well and far LeeAnne has come in therapy, but yes she's still a work in progress. I know in my heart that both Stephanie and Cary are good enough people to forgive her, as I have done.

As hard as this may be for you to understand, LeeAnne, it is difficult to praise your accomplishments and in turn, your silver forked tongue spews more venom! LeeAnne, you are better than that so please start taking a deep breath before you speak and continue that therapy girl.

Clarification, yes Leeanne did attend a holiday ugly sweater party in my home before season 1 ever aired! After watching Season 1, you verbally attacked me and if that blow wasn't enough you went after my children, not acceptable EVER! Hence - the unwelcome rule. My family saw me cry over such hurtful attacks and who forgave you? Me. I shouldn’t have to tell you, you aren't welcome in my home if you 're never invited in...

Divorcing Stephanie was one of the most gut wrenching experiences of my life! In hindsight, I should have made better choices about some of the decisions I made. Like I said, lesson learned. For the record I love Stephanie & always will, we are friend & stronger..keep watching. During Stephanie and my “D”, I spent endless hours crying & cuddling with Bryan and the girls. I hadn't realized how out of tune with my husband and my girls I really was. It broke my heart, I came to realize that Bryan, Brooklyn, and Brinkley are my world and I don't ever want to be without them! Family is everything to me and Stephanie is family, too.

So, leading me to Cary's ass kissing comment...

Quite baffled at first. Rest assured Stephanie has the cutest little pink nose, I've ever seen!

Cary throwing such a brown nosing comment to Stephanie like that might make one think she's a little envious of her "Ride or Die"?

Just saying Cary, there's plenty of my ass to kiss, come on down! LOL

On to my Grandparents... 

Difficult to watch and relive. I love my Grandmother! The words to dignify this experience fail me. We are all human, we all make mistakes in life, if I've learned anything it's to openly forgive. Being able to love is a gift. As a mother, I know when my girls hurt, I hurt for them and my mom for me. I love you, Mom

Praying for a speedy recovery for my Grandfather Griffin who suffered another stroke last Monday evening, love you Pappi!

Unfortunately, not long after filming my Grandmothers husband passed away, it was a very sad time for the family. Paw Dawg's passing was also a blessing given that in his own way helped unite our family! I attended Paw Dawgs funeral and had a weekend with my Grandmother, cousins, uncle, and aunt. My grandmother loves us all and NEVER blamed anyone for the relationship with my grandfather. She has had medical issues and is on an oxygen tank. No wonder she could not hear me knocking. I also want to say I admire and love my Uncle Greg. He takes care of my grandmother & it was absolutely my perception of what I thought and the truth. The history between my grandparents is a dark one but my grandmother never in a million years would stop loving me or wanting the best for me. So I take all the blame, I should have made more of an effort to spend time with her, call her and be more open so the pain could have been prevented. I love you all and thank you for loving me.

Thank you all again for watching
See you next week
Cheers,
Brandi Redmond

Get a sneak peek at next week's episode now: 

Brandi Redmond Thinks The New #RHOD 'Wives Are Stuck Up