Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave: All These Warnings Don't Scare Me

This episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is brought to you by the word “horses.”

I’m glad I got to have a little one-on-one with Lisa Rinna. While Dorit and Lisa Vanderpump had also “warned” me about her— honestly, this group should come with a warning: “Warning, there will be multiple warnings!”— I wanted to make my own assessment. I find her to be funny and enjoyable. And after telling me her daughter used to ride, I figure I’d invite her to a horse show of mine with Lisa Vanderpump and Dorit. Hopefully she doesn’t accuse anybody of doing coke in the porta-potty.

Dorit’s birthday dinner was full of precious moments: Jagger’s entrance in his perfect white suit, Lisa Rinna’s impromptu “speech” and Edwin’s tale of his golden days as a background dancer with eyebrows thinner than his white, tight tank top. Not so precious: the moment when I awkwardly try to clear the air with Erika regarding Vegas, and she says she doesn’t remember anything— I guess that includes calling herself an ---hole. Side note: Villa Blanca is delicious, and the tuna tartare is phenomenal (as you may have heard my loud mouth shouting during the ep; who knew tuna got me so excited).

This Is Why Teddi Loves Horses

I explained how much horses mean to me during the episode. But in case you missed it, let me recap: They’re my escape, my release, my break from reality. So the ladies wanting to come see me ride really showed that they’re invested in building meaningful relationships. Lisa Vanderpump’s comments on my riding are beyond sweet, and I find myself quickly bonding with her by our mutual love for horses as well as our faith in God. My family attends a wonderful church every Sunday that is open and welcoming and a true representation of Christianity. I feel like it keeps our family bond strong and gives our kids a great sense of community.

Dorit invited us over for dinner so that our husbands could get to know each other. I grabbed a bottle of wine we had in the house to take with us (because I’m frugal but not rude). Edwin, rightfully, says we should stop and get something nicer. I guess that’s the key to a successful marriage: Put one cheap ass with an obscene spender, and you get marital bliss!

Over drinks we get into the birth of our children. The sad truth is I cannot get pregnant naturally. Our first child, Slate, I was able to conceive through insemination. With our second, Cruz, we had to go through IVF, during which we had the choice of gender selection and kept choosing boys. After multiple miscarriages, we finally had a successful pregnancy. As you heard, his birth was scary and dramatic, but through the grace of God we have our beautiful little man. I am thankful every day for the two gifts I was blessed with and do not take for granted how lucky we are.

At dinner, I am taken aback by Dorit and PK’s tales of Lisa Rinna, especially the use of the word “schizophrenic.” As we saw last week, Dorit and Rinna had agreed to move past this, so I’m unsure as to why it’s being brought up, especially since they just had a nice time together at my horse show, which is basically what I say to them. “You wait, babe,” PK warns me. But as you can see by now, all these warnings don’t scare me.

P.S. Dorit is an excellent cook. The dinner was super flavorful and beyond yummy.

Have I mentioned that I love horses?

For more on my accountability coaching, please check out my website: www.laworkoutjunkie.com And follow me on social media: Instagram - @teddimellencamp

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