Eileen Davidson: Taylor, Are You a doctor?

Lisa R.’s daughters are fabulous girls! They’re growing up, and I know it can be an “interesting” transition. Vince and I went through it with Duke and Vinny. It’s definitely different with boys, but still challenging. Jesse being 12, I know that negotiating curfews with him can’t be far behind. Terrifying is the word that comes to mind. But how cute are Delilah and Amelia? Gorgeous like their mom (and dad for that matter). I was laughing (crying on the inside) seeing Vince, Jesse, and me in the A.M. trying to get ready for the day. In a house full of boys, I am the lone female voice that calls (screams), “Do your dishes! Empty the trash!” Maybe our house is haunted. I’m the ghost; nobody seems to see or hear me!

At our leopard-ladies dinner, it’s great to catch up with Lisa R. and Kyle. I’m glad Kyle didn’t miss her niece’s wedding, but it’s obvious it’s still not an easy subject. At the time of the dinner, I wasn’t aware of everything else she was experiencing with her family. I wish I’d been more sensitive where Kim is concerned. Kim and I had our issues last year, but I sincerely only want the best for her and continue to hope that she has put the worst behind her and is doing well.

I thought Kyle and Mauricio knew how to travel in style…until I saw Lisa V. and Ken get the private hel-eeee-copter to Monte Carlo! It’s hard enough shopping for husbands' birthdays, but what do you get the man who has everything? A miniature pony, of course! I’d love to see Vincent’s face if I gave him one for his birthday. Haha! He’d want to get a whole bunch of little horses...so he could race them and lay some bets, I’m sure.

The state of Ohio must not have known what hit it with the Lisas flying into town (Fully ready to go to the farm with their cowboy hats? It’s Ohio, NOT Texas!) I’m going to call Lisa V. the little horsey whisperer from now on. It seems like she can’t catch a break planning Ken’s birthday. From beginning to end, there are weather issues and horsey issues. When we get to the day of the birthday lunch, it rains again!

I’m sure Lisa V. wasn’t planning on her beautiful garden party turning into a wet t-shirt contest, but since it was already raining, I figured a little more water wouldn’t hurt. So yeah, I saw Kyle in the pool and thought, “Why not?” Of course I had to splash Lisa R. and everyone else! The day was so magical: the bucolic setting, over-the-top decorations, the HATS, and then an impromptu thunderstorm. It felt otherworldly. This is Southern California. When it rains, it’s a legit miracle! All I can say is I’m happy Ken (and his expensive shoes) is OK after he got tossed in. He didn’t get a little pony for his birthday, but he did get a bunch of CRAZY housewives using him as a pool toy.

Yolanda’s health continues to be a big topic. Taylor is discussing the validity of her illness because of Instagram? Are you kidding me? Taylor, are you a doctor? Because I’m not, so I will trust the professionals in making assertions about Yolanda’s health.

Erika is so interesting! I love that she has an alter ego. As an actress, I have alter egos, too, you know. But none of mine are half as fun as Erika’s. Wait, the one that drugged and raped the priest was pretty fun. Evil, perhaps, but definitely fun, however, Kristen doesn’t have Erika Jayne’s moves. That we’ve seen, anyway. But I’m pretty sure Kristen has one or two of Erika’s dance outfits hanging in a closet somewhere. Watching this episode, how can I not be excited to see what happens as Erika is added to the mix with the rest of the ladies? Do I see us all being back up dancers in the near future? Now THAT would be CRAZY!