Brandi: I Want to Sincerely Apologize

First and foremost, I really do want to sincerely apologize and say I am truly sorry for the insensitive joke I made about Joyce not getting in the water and to anyone of my friends or fans of the show I offended.

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I generally tend to speak before thinking, which is something I wish I could change about myself. But it has been 41 years now and I don't really see that happening. I generally feel like the more you protest about something the guiltier one usually looks, but after looking at social media (which is ruining all of our lives BTW) I guess I need to prove myself a little further.

To start off, I have been in several romantic relationships over the years with African American men and still have close relationships with those ex-boyfriends even now. For over 20 years now, I have had girlfriends from pretty much every ethnical background. Sometimes (actually a lot of times) these girlfriends and I joke inappropriately with each other. These jokes are clearly not ready for TV.

I married and have two children with a Cuban man whose parents were both born and raised in Cuba, and I consider my children to be multi-racial. I am not a racist and I apologize for my insensitive joke. The moment those words came out of my mouth I regretted them and felt like I just handed Joyce/Jacqueline the gift that she had been waiting for to have another go at me and give herself the attention she clearly was craving.

All of that being said, I hope you see that although it didn't go too well, I was just trying to be funny -- as I always try to be. Life is not worth living if you can't laugh with your close friends. In the future, I will remember in to hold back with people who I now see are only looking to take me down so that they can have a something for themselves.

As far as Kenya Moore calling me ignorant on WWHL, while I do find her entertaining on RHOA, I am sorry but I just don't care nor do I respect the opinion of a grown ass woman who flirts, texts, and tries to sleep with another woman's husband. Once she finds some self respect maybe I will learn to care about what she thinks.

Now back to the show. I initially declined Joyce's invitation to Palm Springs not once but twice. Ultimately I was talked into to going by a couple of the other women. I really didn't see the point of going on a girls' trip with a woman who was such a s--- starter and tried to cause problems in my friendships with Lisa and Yolanda. And that's not to mention that half of the other woman going on this trip weren't even really talking to one other at this time.

I decided after much thought to go and to try and make the best out of it. I arranged for my assistant to stay with my pups Chica and Sugar. 

On the ride down to Palm Springs, Yolanda brought up her first time doing the master cleanse was in this city and I make a joke about cocaine. It was a joke people!!! Let me just say 99 percent of the time I am just making jokes and looking for a reaction. In my head I and a comedian, and I believe laughter is the best medicine (especially for boredom). If you ever listen to my @PodcastOne Brandi Glanville Unfiltered show you will see what a constant inappropriate jokester I really am at all times.

We arrive in Palm Springs and it is HOT as sin and once again we are shunned to the bungalows not attached to the main house, with barely stocked refrigerators, giant bugs, and no air conditioning. So we are here on "vacation," it's 1000 degrees, there is tons of tension between the ladies and not a thing to do -- besides maybe counting the times Jaquline flips, touches, or plays with her hair. Fun, fun!

So we go to the pool and everyone looks great in full hair and makeup but no one wants to get in the pool, despite the heat. I have a conversation with Joyce about her name because I kept in call her Jaquiline. In the beginning it was by accident, and then later, because she annoyed me so much, it was on purpose. In most Latin languages or at least from what I had learned being with a Cuban man and his family for over 13 years,  the letter J is usually pronounced as a "y." Since Joyce is constantly speaking Spanish, I assumed she would want her name pronounced properly. I guess that struck a cord with this ambitious, ex-beauty queen, and she was not happy.

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Carlton and I get in the water and I am bored as hell, so I decide to share with the ladies about our innocent friendship kiss. It was mostly just to get a rise out of the other women, and a few of them were rather shocked. So I felt my job had been done.

We all go back to our rooms to prepare for the super exciting (not) dinner Joyce is throwing in the "main house" and I decide to get my drink on because, as I said before, I was bored to tears and supposedly on vacation. I am aware that I overindulge and drink toO much in certain situations -- but sometimes with this group it's the most exciting thing to do. And we were again on F---ING vacation.

This dinner wasn't going to go well from the get-go because half the women still had issues with one another. As I watched Joyce move food around on her plate and pretend to eat, as usual things started to get ugly. Kyle, Yolanda and Kim have their own unresolved issues from before. Although no one really knows what truly happened except the three of them, I blindly defend Yolanda because she had been a great friend to me. In the past, I had been on the other side of Kim and Kyle and it wasn't fun, although our relationships now are stronger then they have ever been.

Joyce decides to play with her hair for the thousandth time before toasting herself about a show she scored the lead in that her husband just happened to produce. Kyle snaps at Yolanda, Yolanda in return snaps at Kyle, Joyce chimes in and snaps at Yolanda who tells her to stay out of it, I chime in and snap at Kyle. It's just one giant s---show! Can't we all just have drink please and maybe go do something fun? Nope!

So more drinks for Brandi! Yes, I overindulged and it wasn't cute, but can you f---ing blame me!?! Kim, Carlton, and Lisa pretty much stayed out of the fray, which was smart on their part. The dinner party from hell continues next week. Oh Joy! Or should I say "Oh Yoy"?

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Looking back I should have stayed home with my precious dogs and maybe Chica would still be with our family.

Deuces!