Recap: Robots, Snakes, and a Whole Lot of Smoke

I don't know about you, but did anyone else feel robbed that we didn't get to see more of that party bus scene last night? I mean for goodness sake, everyone was pole dancing (except for Cynthia who inexplicably did the robot instead):



And Gregg was literally hypnotized by the movements of his wife's behind.



Who can blame him?

But seriously where were they going? More Housewives dancing and drinking please!

In any event, the gang went deep in every sense this week. First they went on an excursion to visit some caves and a beautiful grotto. But while en route they encountered an uninvited guest (and no, it was not Jill Zarin making a surprise appearance Scary Island-style) -- a snake!

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What I think we all learned was that these ladies CANNOT deal with snakes. Porsha started crying, Phaedra was praying for divine intervention (while also calculating how many pairs of shoes could be made from it), and NeNe just ran out of there pushing aside anyone or anything in her way.



Hey, it's every Housewife for herself when a giant snake is slithering in your direction. Luckily Gregg was on hand to shoo away the pest with his patented snake-repelling technique.



But when that failed, four guys just came in and whisked it off.



When the monster/a pair of Phaedra's future shoes was out of the way, everyone hit the caves and took a dip in the "fountain of youth." Given that the water was allegedly pretty cold, I don't blame most of the crew for passing on taking a dip. I mean they're in Mexico, where you're supposed to be soaking up sun and taking dips in warm water.

Also can anyone figure out why they had to wear those floatation devices?



After the day's adventure, Kenya gathered all the ladies (except Porsha and Phaedra) to join her for a Mexican fertility ritual, which involved a lot of smoke being blasted in everyone's face:



And some pointed shaking of leaves:



Clearly NeNe was not looking to have another child. But it was a very serious business for Kenya, and the ladies had a really deep conversation about motherhood, which was nice to see.

Back at the hotel the men were having some much needed bro time, in which they smoked cigars and offered each other relationship advice, particularly on Todd's Mama Joyce drama:

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He just wants Joyce to ride for him! And the guys want him to keep at it. Here's to hoping he wins her over in the end.
And then the big drama this week, in which Apollo has landed himself in deep trouble, the talk with Kenya. Kenya crashed the boys' party, enjoyed some cigars and multiple tequila shots, and then decided to confront Apollo one-on-one about the textgate business. Just when you thought it was gone... Apollo explained his side of the situation, which seemed to leave Kenya more confused.

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And while they were still hashing it out, Phaedra walks in and is not happy. All I can say is if looks could kill, those two would have been in some serious danger...

Next week the fallout between Kenya and Phaedra unfolds, but in a surprise twist it looks like Gregg and Peter are the ones heading towards a big blowout.

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