Recap: Ponchos, Mustaches, and Beards

We're going to MEXICO! Apologies, whenever Housewives (or really anyone) go to Mexico, my mind immediately goes to Vicki Gunvalson, the #RHOC queen of "whooping it up." Watch this and you'll understand if you're not already familiar:

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Nobody does Mexico like Vicki. Nobody.

But the ladies of Atlanta are here and it looks like they may give Vicki a run for her money. So let's don our ponchos and reflect on what went down.

Before heading south of the border, Kordell and Peter had a sit down. Yes, you read that correctly, Kordell actually appeared on the show after all of the craziness of the divorce with Porsha.

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We learned three important things from this conversation:

1. Kordell said that Porsha was asking for a divorce long before the scandalous Twitter announcement.
2. Kordell didn't let Porsha have her family over because one time he came home and her mom was watching TV in his bedroom and eating a pepperoni pizza.
3. Kordell definitely thinks Peter's name is Pete. (Has anyone else ever called him Pete on the show?)

Meanwhile Kenya and Marlo had a good ol' fashioned shadefest, where they basically postulated that NeNe must be mad about her show being canceled, and thus is not being a good friend.

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From there Kenya jets off a day early with Miss Lawrence at her side in order to check out the resort and make sure everything is ready for the rest of the ladies' arrival. However it seems their only prep work was to try on their fake mustaches and ponchos and print out pictures of Kenya to leave in every room.



The rest of the crew (sans Phaedra, who couldn't find her passport) makes their way over the following day, and while everybody's partying in the party shuttle over to the hotel, Peter drops that he had a talk with Kordell. Poor timing there -- after a long flight, when you reach the destination you just want all the alcohol and have fun at all costs.

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So that was awkward. But hey, a few tequila shots and who will even remember it happened, am I right?

Everyone was greeted by a surprise attack from Kenya and Miss Lawrence in their traditional Mexican garb. NeNe was treated to the second presidential suite at the resort, and Gregg celebrated as follows:



Never change Gregg Leakes, never change.

Everyone else had basically the same amazing suite, just without a private pool, so I don't think there were a lot of complaints.
After everyone had some time to decompress, the dinner bell sounded and everyone was asked to NOT sit next to their significant other to help shake things up. Luckily Phaedra and Apollo arrived just in time to dine. And seemingly before you could say margarita, the conversation turned to Porsha and Kordell again.

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Can't they leave it alone and let Porsha enjoy her vacay? At least Kenya did finally verbalize the question that everyone's been dancing around all season: Was Porsha his beard? Porsha says no, even though she did make it seem like she was trying to run a PR campaign for Kordell, as Peter pointed out.

Next week the past continues to haunt the group when Kenya and Apollo hash out the textgate drama.

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