Cynthia's Insecurity

Flaws and All

What an amazing time in my life! I’ve moved to Atlanta where my loving family lives and has always been my home away from home. Being from Detroit, Atlanta has always welcomed me, since I filmed my first leading lady role in the movie Trois here. The people of Atlanta have always been so kind to me and have rolled out the red carpet.

My move represents a lot of change in my life. LA has great business opportunities for my film and TV production company and acting career, but it can be a very lonely place. I’ve been a private person for the most part and exposing my life in this way also represents my willingness to move forward with a serious relationship. It is my desire to find someone who loves me for me -- flaws and all.

Enter Aunt Lori.

I have always treasured my relationship with her. She is my "shero." Lori has always been the voice of reason, wisdom, and the epitome of class. Her approval is important to me, so I’ve always sought her advice and counsel. Naturally, she wanted to know why I had been keeping Walter a secret. It was not easy for me because I want to vet the men I date and make sure they are a keeper before I bring them home to meet my family. So far only one man has made it that far.

I loved the scene with Phaedra and Kandi. We had a blast! Phaedra was funny and sweet and Kandi was cool as cucumbers. We laughed about so much that day and it was fun to get to know them a little more. I felt I could be myself around them and they seemed to enjoy me as well.Naturally, when Walter told me he tried to date Kandi it made me a little insecure, because it hadn’t been that long ago AND she turned him down. He knew I had already hung out with Kandi, so I was suspicious as to why he was just telling me. I had also heard of other celebrity women he had asked out too, so I questioned his motives. I really like Kandi and to know he tried to date her didn’t sit well with me. But nonetheless I had to get over it.

THE GIRLS:

I loved seeing NeNe get emotional during the parade. She has come a long way and should be proud knowing that one can turn their life around. Stay focused. I never noticed how much Kim curses! I felt bad that she had to move so quickly being pregnant. Moving is very stressful, so I felt her pain.

Kandi and Todd are so cute together. They are so in love and it’s obvious Kandi is happy because she can’t stop smiling when they are together.

Phaedra cracks me up because she always calls me Miss America when I was crowned Miss USA. It doesn’t offend me because they are both American Institutions and prestigious titles and the winners are a part of history.

For clarification, here is how Miss USA and Miss America differ:

Miss USA is a beauty pageant owned by Donald Trump and is a part of the umbrella of the Miss Universe Organization (MUO), which includes Miss Teen USA, Miss USA, and Miss Universe. Miss USA is the delegate from the USA to the Miss Universe pageant. Which means, Miss USA can also become Miss Universe. (I was 4th place in Miss Universe the year I competed.)

Miss America is a scholarship and talent pageant and is older. Prior to recent years, it was held in Atlantic City.

There was a lot going on at the Success party. Cynthia seemed very insecure about my conversation I was having with NeNe. I applaud NeNe for being a bigger person and remaining neutral and allowing for us to have a connection. I also felt embarrassed for Cynthia because she came across as territorial and desperate to keep me away from NeNe. But I digress.As far as Cynthia asking me what year I won my title, it seemed pathetic. To add insult to injury she asked if I was “before or after Vanessa Williams.” Firstly, Vanessa Williams is a goddess in my eyes and a living icon. I’m not on her level yet, nor do I pretend to be. However, she is my role model -- kind, generous, smart, and a great person.

Secondly, whether you are Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, live in America or abroad, Vanessa Williams made history as the first Black woman to be crowned Miss America. That was a victory for brown women around the WORLD. Who didn’t cry when she cried? Who didn’t feel their hearts swell up with pride when her name was called? What brown woman didn’t feel validated or vindicated for all the years we had been told we were ugly, lesser than, or inferior to Western beauty? Regardless of how Cynthia may feel about me, it is heartless to try to knock down or diminish an accomplishment such as mine. Vanessa Williams opened the door for me and I graciously walked through it. I hope there are other young women that will walk through the door I opened for them in 1993 (19 years ago). There is a fight bigger than the one Cynthia is now picking with me. Yet, we still need to fight for fair representation.

Cynthia’s question that was meant as a “read” actually manages to put down Vanessa as a lack of recognition, myself, and an accomplishment of a people -- not of a single woman. I also saw Cynthia’s tweets about me being a liar because I explained exactly how I was invited to the casting. I may be a lot of things, but not a liar. Her points are so silly and to buy into any more of Cynthia’s empty rhetoric is simply exhausting. She likes to beat a dead horse. It’s dead, Cynthia. Let it die already.

With all that said. It’s probably best that we focus on empowering and uplifting other women that you and I both agree on. Let’s move on.