Nene, My Singing, And My Hair

Holy Toledo. I CanNOT believe the comments left under my blog!!!! First and foremost, this is a TV show and it's for entertainment purposes. I want to clarify for all of you the real deal -- although I am not one to entertain this negativity I will explain. NeNe and I have been friends for years. After watching this episode you can see she was being disrespectful by singing a song about me, Dallas, my age etc. Whether or not it was in good fun, a true friend wouldn't do that. I found out NeNe sang about me long before Deshawn's Diamond Gala and Sheree and I at the Kai Spa, sooooo it may appear I turned my back on her when in reality she turned her back on me. I was very hurt and shocked to say the least. NeNe is super fun and entertaining but it shouldn't be at my expense. However you perceive the rest is entirely up to you.

Jan Smith ... my voice coach. She is super-talented and is the best at what she does. I was so nervous the day I met her. Her analogy of me was accurate; I have never had a voice lesson in my life and I had much work to do as far as matching pitches. I have since come a long way.

Dallas Austin ... where do I begin? I adore him -- he is one of the kindest people I know. He is NOT Big Poppa. Yes Big Poppa and Dallas do know each other but Big Poppa had nothing to do with my music career contrary to NeNe's comments. I had mentioned to Dallas I wanted to be a singer a long time ago and he said "Let's do it." I was very disappointed in the footage of me singing in the studio.

I had just gotten over strep throat and my voice was still really irritated, but aside from that it was the very first time ever singing in a studio. I spent hours that day singing alongside Dallas and it only showed me singing for literally the first time. As time went on that day I perfected some of the song, my nerves subsided, and Dallas and I were very pleased with the results. I had so much pressure on me with cameras being there, Dallas, engineers etc. and we all know when you get nervous your voice cracks and doesn't function as it should. You can clearly tell in my facial expression I was shocked to hear me sing like that. It was almost like I was speaking the words verses belting them out. Ha! When my single "Tightrope" is released around the first of the year I think it will show I have come a long way and dedicated myself to improving. Music is my passion, and where there is a will there is a way.

Lets talk about my hair. It has been incredibly difficult to read the comments making fun of me and my hair. In fact I think its rather disgusting that people would even comment on it before knowing the story as to WHY? I am so disappointed in the fact that people would judge me or anybody for that matter. About three years ago, I got really sick I lost 20lbs and my hair was breaking off. My doctors couldn't figure out why. After many visits to specialists they thought I had cancer (they confirmed I didn't after a couple months). It was by far the most devasting time of my life. My daughters were four and eight. I just couldn't imagine not seeing them grow up. I decided to get hair extensions put in. It only made matters worse .. .before it was all said and done I had very little hair on my head. I had no other alternative in my eyes other than to purchase a hair piece. Do you really think I would walk around with a hairpiece on if I didn't have to?

I am fully aware that I opened myself up and my life when I decided to do this show. However it never occured to me that I would be sitting here defending myself or having to share such a personal part of my life. I am just happy to be here and enjoying all my blessings from God. I try to not let things get to me but the reality is at times it does. After my sickness I realized just how short life is, how precious life is, and more importantly to enjoy every minute of it. I live my life as if today's my last.

I hope that after reading this you guys will understand me a little more and have a clearer picture of me. Stay tuned, keep watching, and chase your dreams. "What God brings you to ... he will bring you through"