A Heavy Heart

I wrote this blog before the tragic loss of Ashley "AJ" Jewell, Kandi's fiancée. I am truly at a loss for words. My heart is incredibly heavy. I had the pleasure of spending time with AJ during the filming of season two. He was an incredible man, an incredible father and he will truly be missed. Although we as cast mates have had our share of drama, Lisa, NeNe, Sheree and I have come together as a team and will continue to do so to get Kandi through this difficult time. Please keep my friend Kandi, her family, AJ's children and his family in your prayers.

Before I begin I want to apologize again for missing Kandi’s performance. I don’t want her or anyone to think that I would purposely miss her big day. You’ll notice on the show that I don’t do a lot of going out at night because I don’t have a sitter at night. I’m a single Mom; it’s just me when the lights go out. My daughter got sick and I was FREAKING OUT about all of that swine flu business. She had unusual symptoms and I just couldn’t leave her and I couldn’t get a sitter. Again, SORRY! Please forgive me.

Now on to Lisa “Me Too” Wu. I just had to roll my eyes when she said that I probably had a disease. I’m sure if I had one, she’d want one too. There’s nothing original about the woman, she just runs around town copying off of every one else. I’m just waiting for her to put a song on iTunes. You know it’s coming! LOLOL!

NeNe calling me a low down dirty monkey with a wig on? Sounds like more of a self-description to me. Hey, she said it, not me.

Being in the studio is hard. You have to just keep going and keep working until you get it right. It was a great experience and I’m so glad that I just did it.

My party was very cool! A huge shout out to Aja, Crust, Vision Event Designs and Themed Events. At the time I was VERY excited about the proposal because I was led to believe that the divorce was 30 days away from being final. After a little investigation, I found out that I was STILL on the same merry-go-round. You know when you just WANT to believe that someone is going to do right by you? When you think to yourself, “There’s no way a man would go out and buy this MASSIVE rock and not be serious!” Right? One thing that I’ve learned over the course of this show is that I’m far too trusting. It’s my biggest flaw, which makes it ever harder to conquer.

On a deeper note, I hope you all understand that this business is hard and it takes a toll on me, my daughters, my family and my friends. Both of my daughters are able to read and navigate the internet and they have to deal with the all of the negative things that people have to say about me. You think you know what you've signed up for and then things get crazy and it’s like WHOA WHOA WHOA! We’re all mothers who have children that think the world of us and we’d like to preserve some of that because they deserve it. Just a little food for thought.

Until next week!

Kim Z.