The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

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Read Patti's full transcript after the jump!

This was a great week. My first client this week is Justin Cooper. He’s an ad man from Chicago who’s blind in one eye due to glaucoma. His problem is he tries to fix the girls he dates. News flash guys: if you date a girl who you think is broken, it’s not going to work out. I need to find him a woman that doesn’t need his fixing. 

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My other client is Chad Towersey, an ad sales executive from Orange County. He’s a critical dick, acts like a douchebag -- but I think he’s all bark and no bite. He thinks his attitude as a bad boy gets him laid. And maybe it does, but girls won’t want to trust him or stay with him. I know once he let’s go of the bad boy dick personality, it’s going to be a lot easier for him to find someone he can stay with a long time. 

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Because both my clients work in ad sales and advertising, we have a ‘Mad Men’ themed mixer in the office. It was a blast. Martinis were all over the place. I don’t know how they got any work done in the '50s and '60s with all the drinking. 

Justin picks Becca for his master date and he takes her to the VodBox where they taste vodka in the freezing cold – that sounds like really fun. I love this idea. You and your date put on furry jackets and hats, huddle together to keep warm. Perfect! As if this wasn’t enough, Justin takes Becca to Opaque for dinner where they eat in complete darkness. This is pretty amazing. Everything is done by touch -- touch, touch, touch -- including when Justin slides up next to Becca for a big kiss. Justin actually killed it. Nothing to fix here, nothing’s broken on this date, this all went great.

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Chad picks Frances who’s great for him since in addtion to being gorgeous she is British like Chad’s dad. For his date, Chad takes Frances to Jujutsu class where they roll around grappling and wrestling with each other. I personally would have murdered Chad if I were Frances, but she seemed to have a really good time. At least Chad made up for it by taking her a very nice dinner where they got along great. Guys take note: The critical dick goes home alone and the nice guy brings home the girl. Chad figured it out in the end.