A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

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Read Patti's full transcript after the jump!

This was a fun week. My first millionaire was Robbie Mione, an older guy, little full of himself. He was laying it on very thick – joke after joke after joke. I felt like I was interviewing Don Rickles except not funny. But when I talked to Robbie about anything real, he has no idea what to say. I called him superficial. He’s only dating younger women, so I challenged Robbie. I could set him up if he just dropped the act and was himself. Nobody wants the old jokester comedian.

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My other millionaire was cute, sweet, owns a bunch of gyms, a really nice guy. Dane Dunn had been through the ringer, married his high school sweetheart and had two beautiful kids. But then his wife cheats. She decides she doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. Dane goes the other way. He starts hanging out at the river, becomes a river rat, big house, boats, jet skis, younger girls. And he’s complaining that he’s a nut job magnet. He only meets girls with drama. Well, go figure. So his picker ‘s way off. And that’s easy to fix.

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I try to set Dane up with age appropriate non-drama women who I think will fit with his personality. Robbie’s gonna be another story. He’s an old dog with no new tricks, he’s gonna go back to his shallow ways if I’m not careful.

So we decide to have the mixer at this beautiful Hollywood museum just where Robbie belongs. I have a trick up my sleeve. I’m gonna give Robbie a buzzer and every time I  feel like he’s going back to his shtick, I’m gonna hit the button and buzz his a--.  This works great. I have a great time buzzing him. Every time he tries to make a joke -- buzz!  But after a little while, you know what happens? He starts being real.

But, before he can pick a girl, his shallow past catches up with him. One of the girls he picks for his mini-date, Sherri, is actually a girl he met before and the complete insult is he doesn’t even remember her. So when he picks her for his date, she doesn’t want to go! And I agree with her. So here’s where the master matchmaker takes control.I like this English girl Lyndsie for Robbie.   She lives in Arizona. I thought she was smart, great and wouldn’t take his bulls---. So I picked Lyndsie for Robbie. I know what I’m doing.

Dane meets a beautiful blonde named Emily and chose her for the master date. Dane takes her on a great date, an amazing helicopter ride over the ocean and a beautiful dinner in Laguna. They really get along, but somewhere along the way Dane starts to get the idea that she’s a little too into her work, but more on that later. . .
Meanwhile, Robbie takes Lyndsie on a Bentley ride through Hollywood, they have champagne, a picnic over the Hollywood hills, and dinner a Beso, great restaurant. And you know what? Robbie is himself, not the jokester shtick, he ends up with the girl. He even visits her in Arizona.

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Dane is out of his shell, he’s learning to be cautious and trust again, but he tries to get ahold of Emily and she doesn’t call him back. When she finally gets back to him, she says she’s too busy. I don’t know what’s going on with Emily. She says she’s interested, but that’s not how you behave in The Club. If she doesn’t like Dane, fine, just tell me. I’ll set him up with somebody else. But she keeps saying she had a great time on the date, and she won’t call him back. So a rare thing happened. Instead of kicking the millionaire out of the club, I’m kicking the dater out of the club! Go figure! Anyway, a fun week.