Scent Of A Housewife

Last night on The Real Housewives of Orange County, you may have noticed that amidst the bickering and vibrator shopping, the wives made their own fragrance, courtesy of Memoire Liquide. Memoire Liquide was nice enough to give us the special ingredients in each scent, but they also assumed that the editors of Bravo are fluent in French. The following slaughter of francais has been brought to you by the makers of Babel Fish, helping students meet their high school foreign language requirements since 1994ish.

Vicki's Fragrance

Satiné - Satin, or soft.

Fleur de café - Coffee flower. So this would be like wearing a wreath of flowers while bathing in a tub of freshly brewed Folgers. I'm just guessing. Coffee flowers can also relieve stress, so a Folgers bath for Vicki might not be a bad idea.

Jeana's Fragrance

Gardenia - Gardenia is a flower with a strong, sweet scent. Danger: Wikipedia warns that it could cause headaches in sensitive people. This puts virtually every O.C. cast member at risk.

Pihahe? Pinahe? Pinnochio? - Either Babel Fish doesn't know this French word, or I'm not spelling it correctly. Any scholars out there willing to help?

Gretchen's Fragrance

Joie de vivre - Joy of life.

Naiveté - Try translating this one on your own.

Lynne's Fragrance

Reve doux - Soft dream. As opposed to a hard dream. Or a medium-rare dream. Regardless, a soft dream scent sounds nice. But sort of like those earthy, flighty scents Gap's been pushing for a decade.
Nymphea - A fragrant waterlilly.
Nudite absolue - Absolute nudity. Ha!

So did the folks at Memoire Liquide get it right? Mix your own fragrances for the housewives below!