Erika Jayne Emotionally Details "Heartbreaking” Way Her Marriage with Tom Changed
Her ex-husband was once Erika Jayne's biggest supporter until "the wheels fell off."
Erika Jayne once viewed ex Tom Girardi as a source of constant support, but that changed in a “terrible and heartbreaking” way as their relationship evolved.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast member opened up to Bravo producer Alex Baskin in a past episode of Bravo's Hot Mic podcast about the early days of the relationship, how Tom encouraged her to become a Housewife, and why the marriage later “went down in flames.”
“The great thing about Tom when I was married to him was he did want me to succeed,” Erika told Baskin. “Now, is he egotistical and narcissistic and [it] obviously went down in flames and the ending was terrible and heartbreaking? Yes. But at his core, did he want me to do well? Yes.”
How did Erika Jayne and Tom Girardi meet?
The marriage once had a promising start. Erika, a single mom working as a cocktail waitress at the famed Beverly Hills eatery Chasens, first met Tom at the restaurant, where he was an investor and regular customer.
“He was very kind. He was great. Everybody loved Tom,” Erika said of the former attorney. “He was a good customer. He was a good tipper.”
Erika knew Tom “for well over a year” before the two went on their first date.
“We were never really apart after that,” the songstress shared.
But it almost didn’t happen. After giving Tom her number around Christmas time one year, he had his secretary call a few days later to see if she could meet him for dinner.
“I said, ‘No, I cannot. And if Mr. Girardi wants to take me out, he can call me in advance himself,’” she shared.
Tom ultimately made the move himself when he walked into the restaurant about a week later.
“We had a really nice time and we just continued our relationship on from there,” Erika remembered.
How did Tom Girardi feel about Erika Jayne becoming a Housewife?
After getting married about a year later, Erika settled into her new life as a wealthy Pasadena housewife who “lived Tom’s life” for a while, before she began searching for own creative outlet.
“I got to see a lot of good things but I still wanted to create and I still wanted to be back on stage and I still wanted to do what I was made to do, which is entertain and at some point I had to acknowledge that and say this is what I’d like to do again,” she said.
Erika — who moved to L.A. to pursue her dream of performing — eventually launched her performance persona Erika Jayne, which is highlighted in the Bravo special Erika Jayne: Bet It All on Blonde.
“I wanted to do the things that I wanted to do, say the things I wanted to say, make the music that I liked, which was dance music, and be right in that place,” she said, adding that her performance career was first inspired by the words ”fantasy, love, and escape” before adding in “glitz, glamor, and fun.”
When the singer joined RHOBH in its sixth season, much like her performance pursuits, Tom was nothing but supportive.
“I think that’s why we stayed married so long was because I did feel supported in those areas until it took a turn,” she said.
Baskin even recalled Tom encouraging her to sign her Housewives contract without giving it a second thought.
“Tom told me and I quote, ‘They're doing more for you than you could ever do for them, sign it and return it,’” she said.
Tom’s willingness to support her own endeavors helped their marriage thrive over the years.
Why did Erika Jayne and Tom Girardi break up?
That all changed, according to Erika, when Tom, 33 years her senior, “was on the decline” himself.
“Tom never once said you can’t say this, you can’t do that. You can’t perform like this. You shouldn’t wear that. He was always 100%,” she remembered. “He believed in my choices as an individual, but when he started to decline and I think the wheels fell off for him, obviously his personality changed and his focus changed from supporting me to almost, like, resenting me.”
The couple split in 2020 after 21 years of marriage.
"[In] the end, Tom and I fought about everything. Nothing was harmonious," Erika said in Season 13 of RHOBH. "We had both descended into resentment for each other, and that is when your marriage is over."
To find out the latest news about Erika, watch Season 14 of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premiering November 19 at 9/8c on Bravo or available streaming the next day on Peacock.
Watch the video edition of Bravo's Hot Mic podcast at BravoTV.com/podcast or listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.
