The Right Tool For The Right Job

This week's short-cut challenge was about copying Sally's signature Meg Ryan shag. She gave a shag lesson and demonstrated why she can charge $800 a haircut -- she gets every damn detail perfect. Most of the stylists, unfortunately, were C-students at best. Lacey got an F -- and was expelled.

Just when the group reached a full panic about imitating Sally while she watched... Hey stylists! How about we take away your scissors and make you cut hair with gardening shears, box cutters, and hedge clippers? There is nooooooo way I would let anyone near my head with those things. But with willing (sort of) models and two hours, the game was on.

"Size matters" applies to Evangelin's choice of hedge clippers: She knew that once we saw those long blades, we would be impressed with anything -- assuming the model still had a head. But I wasn't just blown away by her big tool; she managed to create a bob with layers and long side bangs. It was young and sexy.

Tyson went the conventional route: he chose household scissors, like the ones you used on your sister's hair when your mother wasn't looking. He didn't fare much better than you did at seven. His flattened style reminded me of Shelly Duvall after Jack Nicholson went all "Here's Johnny on her. Hey Ty, remember when you said you hadn't created anything ugly so far? Well, you have now.

Tabatha had the last choice of tools -- and she was pissed. She was pissed at Tyson for screwing her over. She was pissed at her model for being indecisive. Tabatha was at her most lethal -- and armed only with the safety scissors they give to three-year-olds. But she still stabbed back -- and produced a feathered bob that got her into the top three. Take that, Tyson.

Daisy entered this challenge with a box-cutter in hand and a newfound confidence. "You can do hair with anything," she said, "as long as you have a vision." And finally, she showed that she had a vision. Her chin-length bob had a deep side-part that gave it a cool edge. Daisy, maybe you should ditch the scissors for good because you're badass with that box cutter.

It's never good when a makeover's "before" is better than its "after." Dr. Boogie wanted to play it safe, working with the boring household scissors to cut a boring bob. His model didn't look bad -- she just looked a lot better before the challenge. Next time, honey, run from the Boogie Man.

Ben went with gardening shears that reminded him of what Mr. Miyagi used to trim his bonzai trees. Problem is, they were big freaking shears, and Ben's bob (is it just me or are all the hairstyles the same this week?) lacked the precision old Miyagi used to shape his trees. Ben called the style silly. I certainly didn't get any laughs from it, just a feeling that it was middle-of-the-road -- and boring.

Once again with the household scissors, there was Danna. By the way, I can't look at the scissors on my desk without having flashbacks to this disasterous challenge. Danna snipped...wait for it...wait for it -- a bob! Hers had a flip, just like most of the others, but it was perkier and dorky. Her model looked like a member of the Brady Bunch.

Anthony grabbed wire cutters because he wanted the sharpest tool. Judging by the massive amount of crap I've seen this week, he may be the sharpest tool on the set -- because his haircut was fun and fluttery and really worked.

Theodore actually cursed when he saw the choice of cutting tools. Funny, because I nearly did too when I saw his creation. He selected butcher's shears -- and they lived up to their name. His chopped layers hung awkwardly, not blending in with each other, as they should. And his attempt to mask the mess with products only made it worse. If one of these stylists is really a shear genius, he or she is going to have to take risks, pull out all stops, and be major. With the group down to eight, I hope someone will step up to the salon chair. Until next week...