Reza: "Lilly Doesn't Understand Friendship"

Sorry I didn't blog last week, the real estate market is on fire again and I'm happy to say that business is booming. So let's get into this episode. I have to say that I'm impressed that despite their differences, GG and her sister are able to work together. In our culture family is everything, and it's not often that you see siblings on two sides of the fence. Leila doubted GG, but after a call from Mike, Leila decided to back GG up on the MJ vs. GG war that has been going on. I don't feel the same way as Mike, he doesn't pay attention and he doesn't recall facts. GG has been extremely aggressive with MJ on three separate occasions. The first being at MJ's house in front of me, the second was at St. Feliz, where Asa and I were both present, and finally at Del Mar. GG was very close to striking MJ and after these three incidents, MJ called the 'naneh' (in Farsi it means the momma). I'm not saying MJ was right to call the momma, but MJ couldn't take anymore.

From there we go soghati shopping (soghati are gifts you buy before a trip to take to relatives, or gifts you buy and bring back home). The moment that stands out for me is when MJ said she wanted to ruin GG's life. I'm no expert, but I think calling the momma and telling her that her daughter is a c--- whore bitch should have been enough.

The scene with Lilly and her glam gays was more ridiculous than the outfit she wore to shop in. It's clear that Lilly doesn't understand friendship; she thinks that money is exchanged in a friendship. She surrounds herself with these shallow queens that tell her how fabulous she is as she's signing their checks. The best thing she said was that she wants to be friends with people that she's "effortlessly friends with," AKA I don't want to put any work into my friendships, I'd rather pay for them. I wonder how many of them would stick around if the well ran dry?The Persian guide book to overseas travel clearly states that one must wax her hooha and spray tan her bazooms before getting on a plane. So naturally MJ called me to make a day of it. She took me to a spa where they do Brazilian and Brozilian waxing. I had no intention of waxing anything. Mike probably referred MJ to this place. He has a Bro-zilian wax job and his eyebrows are tweezed within an inch of his life. Like any good season of Shahs, you'll get to see what Mike has, or doesn't have for that matter, later on. The best part of the day and maybe the best part of that month for me was MJ's spray tan session. Watching her manage and maneuver those breasts gave me life; it was cracking my sh-t up. It looked as if she was trying to hold two oily watermelons that she just couldn't get a grip on. I can't believe how stupid I was for allowing my "friendship" with Lilly to get in the way of me and MJ. Now I know it wasn't anyone's fault but my own, I'm just glad that we're back together again.

[video_clip_url:http://player.theplatform.com/p/PHSl-B/yT7k3t_YLXoZ/embed/select/sGXfNONoOYlU]The shopping trip with Mike, Jessica, and his mother was really disgusting. Not because it was an exercise to mock me, which it clearly was. I'm fine with that. I wear what I want and I have fun with it. Mike wants to give me a run for my money? Why are you worried about me, Mike? Save the money that you do have and buy Jessica a ring. Mike on the other hand takes his mommy with him to help pick out his outfits. I wonder if she cuts his food up into bite-sized pieces. I would just like to see Mike get his balls back. At least one of them!

After months of not seeing or hearing from Lilly, I get the call to meet. It was inevitable. I knew that she had been invited to Turkey and the word was out that she didn't want to go. I knew that she was hoping I'd beg her to come, but I honestly knew that we'd have a much better time without her there. She starts in by telling me that Asa was her only friend. If that's your passive aggressive way of trying to hurt my feelings, it worked. What she didn't know is that I had mourned the loss of that "friendship" long before she called me. I just agreed that if she didn't want to come, that she shouldn't. So I was shocked to watch her tell Asa that I told her not to come. Lilly can be very manipulative in her effort to gain sympathy, but luckily Asa saw through her lies. [video_clip_url:http://player.theplatform.com/p/PHSl-B/yT7k3t_YLXoZ/select/qdtuCMaeMCx8?form=html]

Asa's art show was beautiful. To see the history of her life in performance art was very moving. I, like Asa, have a deep connection to my culture and I'm always moved by things that take me on a journey to the past. It wasn't a surprise to her that Mike "didn't get it." I love Mike, but he can be a bit of a meat head and art, history, and culture are not things that Mike can connect with.

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As for my outfit, I liked it and had fun wearing it. The conversation outside was getting heated between MJ and Jessica. Mike called it "empowered," I call it frustration. Jessica has been very edgy lately, and who can blame her? I would have popped off on MJ too. This poor girl has been doing everything right, SHE WANTS A RING!Finally, I had to relive the disaster at Leila's house. You guys saw it and I don't want to rehash. All I can say is that it was painful to watch. Not because two sisters can be so hurtful to one another, but for the fact that Leila's daughter Jordan was in the middle of it. I left that day wanting to call my sister to tell her how much she means to me, and I did.

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I'm actually writing this blog as I'm flying to New York. I'll be in the 'Watch What Happens Live' Clubhouse the night this episode airs. Tweet me questions that you want answered about this episode, or anything else @RezaFarahan.

I look forward to chatting with you next week!

xxoo
Reza