Reza: "I Wish I Had Kept My Mouth Shut"

Happy New Year! We've been gone for so long, and I'm happy to be back communicating with you guys. You just watched an action packed episode, but the moment that stands out most for me that I can't believe I'm sharing with you guys is MJ and her sex tapeS. Yes, big 'S', as in there are many of them. I'll never forget the moment that she shared them with me; it was instantly burned into my hard drive. The most interesting part about it wasn't that I was watching my best friend in a hardcore XXX movie, but the fact that she was referring to it as a work of art. Making mention of every curve and beautiful attribute of her physique. I'm thinking, this bitch is crazy! Doesn't she know that eventually this will end up on the internet? We're not looking at an oil painting here, this is a porno, a very well made amateur porno, but a porno nonetheless. I digress, luckily, I remembered which one of her computers it was on and a disaster was avoided. We laughed a lot that day, but I hope this scare taught her a lesson and that she deleted those movies. What do you think?

[video_clip_url:http://player.theplatform.com/p/PHSl-B/yT7k3t_YLXoZ/embed/select/SSgRMl8u3CWL]From one train wreck to another, we follow Mike into a "meeting" with "Baller 1 and 2." That was a joke, I literally thought 'Crockett and Tubbs' were around the corner waiting to raid the joint (for those of you who don't remember, that's a 'Miami Vice' reference). That didn't look like any real estate office I had ever seen. Where were the files, the papers, or anything else you'd find in a normal office? Why is Mike looking for a get rich quick scheme? I'm not an expert, but that type of business doesn't look appealing to a “real” real estate agent. Was it me, or did it look like Baller 1 had a lot of mousse in his hair, circa 1990?

Watching Jessica cook Shabbat was really heartwarming. She's a great girl and she really loves Mike. She really deserves a ring, better yet, she's earned a ring. I'm really glad that Mike's mom checked him on the: "I want a big ring to blind the haters." If you want a big ring, buy one, but let it be for positive reasons, not for the haters. Can you imagine if Mike didn't have those amazing parents? It scares me to think of where he'd be without them.

Finally we get to the Diamond Water launch party. I have to take a moment and give props to my girl Asa, she actually made it happen. She turned her dream into a reality, and as far as I'm concerned, Diamond Water is already a success, regardless of the number of bottles sold. Unfortunately, that night wasn't just about Diamond Water. There were so many issues in the group that they trickled right into the party, pardon the pun. I was really hesitant to see Mike and I think you could see why. He rolled in as drunk as a wino. His first DEMAND as he entered the room, after he took his bow, was for a vodka and red bull. How ironic, he was ready to charge at me that night. There was clearly no reasoning with him. He was pounding drink after drink and after several “f--- Reza” comments and “let me feed you fatty,” I lost my cool and clowned him on his shoes, bad move on my part. Looking back, I was really disappointed with myself. I wish I had kept my mouth shut all night. We did attempt to have a conversation, but I was more focused on the flaring nostrils and the teeth grinding, than anything else. From that point on, it became about damage control. I had caused enough of a ruckus and wanted to end it. Luckily Jessica came to the rescue and took Mike home. At that point he was going from rage to tears, he wanted to hit me AND cry on my shoulder. I'm thankful that neither happened and that we'd attempt to have a conversation at a later date when Mike was able to articulate a thought. [video_clip_url:http://player.theplatform.com/p/PHSl-B/yT7k3t_YLXoZ/embed/select/Zv5B586VFWpN]"I haven't been to Turkey since I had chicken," really??? I know Asa was disappointed with us that night, but she didn't even get the reaction she deserved after inviting us to a family reunion in Turkey. She deserved an apology from me, and I gave her one privately. I'm lucky she accepted after my childish behavior that night.

What did you think of the episode?

See you next week and thank you for watching.[video_clip_url:http://player.theplatform.com/p/PHSl-B/yT7k3t_YLXoZ/embed/select/DjTXSNbsjQXH]