Great Lake State

Just watched this episode and I want to sit down and have a big pow-wow with Amy and Julia. Sometimes I wished we lived in the same city. 

OK first off, Menace lobs a ridiculous claim. Nothing about this is a shock. Menace was put on this planet to torture me with his interpretation of my values, and for his many other wonderful gifts (of course).

Sure, I believe that our past shapes who we are, but to say that it has harmed all my relationships isn’t the case. While my childhood impacted me, it’s not completely ruling my relationships or my life. 

I love going home to Michigan. I can only take it for a week. Not because I don’t relish every minute in the “Great Lake State,” I just find it hard to be away from my life and work in San Francisco.

Dinner at my mom’s house always includes “spirited” conversations. My mom most of all wants me to be happy and does support my work. I’d say one of the most common questions I get asked (aside from “How do I reignite the spark in my relationship?” or a myriad of other relationship questions) is this: What does your mom think about your career? Answer: She has always been supportive and was an amazing role model to me in many ways. Especially around cultivating my own independence. In the first episode of Miss Advised, I have a discussion with my brother Michael about the advice my mom once gave me -- "Never rely on a man to take care of you" -- and I don’t think it was awful guidance. It shaped who I am today and I’m grateful.Most of my trips home are all about family. So it was odd to have a date in Michigan, which I’m certain hasn’t happened since college. Not to mention a date with someone I had a crush on in the 5th grade. I dug up the old class photo only to find my 10-year-old hands had scrawled “babe” across David's photo. Just in case I needed any evidence, there it was in faded black marker.

Amy in Michigan is a friend from childhood and I was embarrassed that she picked up the phone and called David. No let me rephrase that: I was mortified. 

But the butterflies have returned. From the instant I saw him I remember why I had a crush. David is adorable. Our first date leads to a second and next thing you know I’m inviting him to San Francisco. I’d say this was a good date. 

Julia, I'm so glad you connected with love coach Annie. She definitely had some sage advice: “Shame is the biggest barrier to true authentic self-expression.” And this situation makes me this of this truth: “Whatever we resist, persists.” Sometimes the best way out is through, and I think every person on this planet has something to slog through.  

Amy this date with Mr. Wrong is so funny. I agree when men talk about their real estate, their cars, or any other worldly possessions within the first few minutes, I’m overwhelmingly unimpressed. It actually has the opposite effect on me. I’m aware there’s an ilk of women who want to check the balance on a guys bank account before accepting a date, but I've never been one of those women. I agree with Amy’s advice that you should continue to date when you first start seeing someone. You never know where a relationship is going to go so why put all your eggs in one basket.  Oh and yes, the topic of sex always comes up on my first dates, probably within the first eight minutes. This honestly doesn’t bother me. If he was a doctor, I’d likely ask what kind of medicine he practiced or what he loved about being a doctor. So I suppose talking about sex on a first date with me and even giving advice is expected. 

Now that we got that covered. It’s time to start the countdown until next week’s episode. Until then.

xxx

Emily