"Lately we have caused some ripples in a couple of pondlets, some scandal, but with controversy but also some peace making. The other night ?uestlove was on our show, he said Tina Fey really needs to be nicer to The Roots because they're all from Philly. Last night she brought it up on 'Late Night with Jimmy Fallon' and they seem to have resolved their issues. Namaste. Mazel to peace in the late night East."

"John Edwards is seeking a delay in his criminal corruption trial because he has a life threatening heart aliment but mazel to him for finding out that he has a heart. Better late than never, John Edwards."

"The unknown parents of two anonymous babies I found on the Internet today, for having the wisdom to dress them up as Wayne and Garth."

"President Barack Obama for singing at a New York fundraiser. How did people like his singing? Well, he raised over 3 million dollars plus 7 thousand pairs of panties! And one pair of junderpants from someone. It's not important who."

"The Real Housewives of the 80's!! Look at this picture, I'm obsessed. It's Brooke Shields, Daryl Hannah, and Melanie Griffith watching basketball together. I call this three-pointer of a photo 'Working Splash Lagoon Girl.' It almost makes me want to care about basketball."

“My Mazel goes to one of my fave ladies, the legendary Mary Tyler Moore, who received the lifetime achievement award at the Screen Actors Guild Awards tonight.”

“Tonight’s Mazel goes to one of my all-time heroes, the creator of ‘Soul Train’- Don Cornelius, who passed away today. Don, you’re a true legend, the king of cool, a broadcasting legend. He was my disco spirit guide, my soul spirit guide, and I know he’s up there cranking out the hits in that big Soul Train in the sky. Mazel to Don Cornelius. And to celebrate you, here is one of our ‘Watch What Happens Live’ favorite clips, it’s Rosie Perez on the ‘Soul Train’ line”

“Madonna killed it at the Superbowl but my Mazel goes to this guy. Some people thought he was Rhea Perlman but the name of this tightrope master is Andy and he’s a gingie and what more could you ask for in a human being? Mazel to Andy, what a curly top.”

“The Grammy Awards are on Sunday so I wanted to give a big fat Mazel to someone who I would consider my patronus, Diana Ross. She is receiving the Lifetime Achievement award and Daniel, I know you’re also nominated for a Grammy for best musical theater album and on Sunday will you give my queen a message for me? Tell Diana Ross I have the sweetest hangover and I don’t want to get over.”

"Adam Forgie’s 90 year old grandma in Utah who performed this dance tribute to Whitney Houston. I love 90 year old grandma, I love all her dance videos on YouTube, and I love that she wants us to follow her on Twitter! Thanks @90yroldGrandma”

“My Mazel tonight goes to former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin for contributing to the President’s Day celebrations by making this video, that I am obsessed with, where she screams about America over an audio track of thunderous applause. I’ve been watching this video all day for some reason. Who is she speaking to? It’s an audio track of applause, it’s crazy. Anyway, Mazel to you Sarah Palin for making sure you are still heard even when you might not even be saying anything.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Jesse Tyler Ferguson’s face. Of course, your face gets a mazel from me any day - but when you co-hosted The View earlier this week, you had a questionable look of disgust toward one of your couch-mates, I’ll give you a hint, it wasn’t Whoopi.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to mah favorite Monkee, Davy Jones, who passes away today. He was funny and he was wee and adorable and every woman over the age of forty, and I, got chocked up when we’d heard he caught the last train to Clarksville. No question, Marcia Brady had great taste.”

“Today’s Mazel goes to Lilly Hartley and Allen Marks marks who set a Guinness World record for greatest combined age of a married couple when they tied the knot this week. She’s 95 and he’s 98, they’ve been living in sin for 18 years- that’s fifthly. But I guess they’re finally ready to settle down, I hope she’s not in trouble. The couple had a two minute civil ceremony followed by a wedding lunch at IHOP. Mazel Lil and Allen and I hop you’re very happy together!”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Newt Gingrich for taking a wee naplet while prepping for this ABC interview.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Marie Osmond. who once again proved to be a fountain of talent when she got the case of the giggles and peed her pants onstage during a show on a cruise ship. If there’s one thing about Marie, when you see her live, you never know what URINE for.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to friend of the Clubhouse, Sean Avery. Last night on our After Show he off handily say he was retiring from hockey. So I thought he was kidding, his agent thought he was kidding, but today he told ‘The New York Post’ that this is his last season and he’s going to work in advertising. If it’s true Sean, thanks for using our show as your press conference and Mazel on your new gig.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to something that has become my most treasured St. Patrick’s Day tradition. This local news story about a leprechaun sighting in Mobile, Alabama. It never gets old! ”

“My Mazel of the day goes to the hosts of The Talk. I’m not sure why, but today they were all dressed as the characters from The Hunger Games - including my pal, Julie Chen, the Chen-bot. She was dressed as Caesar Flickerman! I like to feel like I’m on acid at two in the afternoon and that did the trick!”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Congressman Bobby Rush from Illinois. He wore a hoodie sweatshirt on the floor of congress to bring attention to the Trayvon Martin killing. He was in violation of the dress code which stipulates no hats or overcoats on the house floor and he was kicked out. I liked it that a congress person was willing to make a scene for what’s right. Mazel Bobby Rush.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Grace Food Company for their ad that I spotted on the Manhattan subway today selling ‘Mannish Water” ram/goat flavored soup! I’ve never tasted it, but it’s already my fave! I checked their website and they also sell cock-flavored soup, but uh what does that mean?"

“My Mazel of the day goes to one of the sweetest guys I know. Last night I was after partying with everybody from that show and I mentioned I’d forgotten to eat during all the hullabaloo. Joe Gorga himself hooked me up with some pizza, he brought me slices of pizza. So I gotta give it up to Joe Gorga.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to this guy, he loves Kanye West so much he had to make a video about it and now I love him. Mister, do not kill yourself, you have more swag than most men would know what to do with!”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Sweet Brown for surviving an apartment fire, and in the process, becoming America’s new sweetheart in the process. Ain’t nobody got time for bronchitis! Sweet Brown, if you’re watching, call me. I just want to know you is all.”

“It’s time for my Mazel of the day and it goes to Tupac Shakur who appeared at the Coachella Music Festival, 15 years after he died, via hologram. I was never cool enough to be a big Tupac fan but it did look really amazing to me and it gives me hope that I’ll soon be able to see Jem and the Holograms in concert which would be really really outrageous."

“My Mazel of the day goes to Mr. Dick Clark, who died at age 82 today. The man was an absolute media mogul- hosting, producer, he did it all. I’ll always remember him most fondly as the guy I spent every Saturday morning with back when ‘American Bandstand was on. The world is a little less rockin’ today. So long, Dick Clark, we will miss you.”

“Tonight’s Mazel goes to Cher. Not for surprising Chaz at the GLAAD Awards in LA last night, but for doing it in a huge afro! Thank you, Cher. We need more hairpieces from you. Continue please, I beg you!”

“My Mazel of the day, it goes to Barbra Streisand. She turns seventy years old today! What do you say to the woman who is everything other than Happy Birthday, gorgeous. I want to come to your farm with your barn.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to the best local TV commercial I’ve ever seen for anything. Thank you very much Roller Kingdom. I was going to join a gang and shoot people, but now I think I’ll just shoot the duck.”

“My Mazel of the day and it goes to Miss Christina Aguilera. Her flying saucer hat is one of my favorite things in the world. But tonight she proved there’s no end to her experiments in head ornamentation, this is her tonight in her tiara on ‘The Voice.’ I love it and would be happy to wear it some time”

“My Mazel of the day goes to my eyes for surviving what happened during last night’s After Show with Tamra Barney. There was a lot of boob talk because Tamra recently got her implants out and then...this happened to me. Thank you, eyes. You may be a little wonky, but when the going gets tough, you’re okay.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Teresa. She was fired from ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ tonight along with one other. But she went further than many people expected her to, she almost went to the finale, which is like next week. She even went further than NeNe did, NeNe quit after 10 episodes, Teresa went all the way until now. I just want to congratulate her on an incredible run. She did a great job, she didn’t flip that boardroom table, she had Donald in the palm of her hand, I think. ”

“My Mazel of the day goes to yet another Youtube version of Gotye’s ‘Someone That I Used to Know.’ Folks, this is what happens when hipsters spawn children. Baby hipsters. Was that a Volvo commercial? Who better to lip sync about a painful break up than prepubescent kids. I have no idea where they live but I’m pretty sure we all know it’s Portland.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to someone who’s been there for me from day one. There’s not a day that goes by that I’m not thankful for her. It’s Mother’s Day, she’s my amazing mom, she’s also not too shabby of a bartender. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! Thank you for being with us this week all week, I know this wasn’t your favorite thing to do but you did a great job and I have a surprise for you. This Sunday my mom and I ,for Mother’s Day, are going to be on the cover of ‘Parade’ magazine and she hasn’t seen it but this is it mom.”

“It’s time for my Mazel of the day and it’s so heartwarming that my heart might actually explode. Not only did Kerry Kuck, a blind man living in Denver, complete a marathon this past weekend, he did it with diabetes. And if that isn’t enough to make you tear up, his running partner was an Iraq war veteran named David Hagburg. And the altitude in Denver is, like, super impossible to run in so good for you man for making all of us feel very lazy. Mazel, he finished a marathon blind!”

“My Mazel of the night goes to two people we lost in the last week. Both were huge talents, in the last seven days, it’s nuts - Donna Summer and Robin Gibb.”