Dance Your Ass Off

Workouts, Chinese herbs, Pussycats Dolls, and a peek at Joe's brand new eHarmony profile name -- Douchy McDoucherson 

This week was a chance to kick my own ass and turn my weight loss around from last week. At our baseline workout Nikki finally broke down and showed how she was truly feeling. For someone that constantly berated me for my gym theatrics, I'm so happy to pass my Kleenex baton on to her. Just to set the record straight I would never throw up on my Craig. We can't have our fabulous fall themed wedding with vomiting happening -- it would clash with the décor. 

Mandy is probably one of the sweetest people I have ever met, and when I saw her tear up it was like watching someone kick a puppy. I think she is onto something though taking in Nikki. If she opened up a Camp Mandy, she would make a fortune!

Camp West Hollywood (also known as Camp Bryan and Miguel) I've heard is amazing, but there's a very long waiting list, so hopefully a spot will open up soon. I'm really glad that Jeana had a chance to go. I don't think there are enough people in her OC life that really support her. She really is super sweet, I think she just focuses too much on what's outside of her instead of taking that attention and pointing it towards herself. You can't get away with that at camp Weho -- it's in the pamphlet.

Now lets get to our fabulous field trip. I've been really interested for some time in alternative medicine, so I was stoked that we would get one-on-ones with an expert. Unfortunately it was "bring your kid to work" day, and Jackie had to bring Joe. I love how in our therapy session he accused everyone else of being disrespectful, and yet he was the one who wore a shark fin on his head, poked people with deer tendons, and consistently had the doctor stop talking so that he could answer questions about cankles.

I happen to think cankles are very funny. I mean just the word cankle and how it sounds is funny. When you say it, a smile is bound to come to your face. A lot of people have asked me if I got upset about Joe's "comments," and I think when it comes to Joe you really have to treat him like a child. If a toddler called you a poo poo face would you get mad? Didn't think so.

Now onto our amazing workout with the Pussycat Dolls. This has been my favorite workout so far during this program. Partly because I love to dance and partly because dancing with Bryan is probably the funniest thing I have been able to be a part of.

Oh wait, that's right I took my shirt off on national television. It was probably the scariest thing I have ever done next to killing a huge spider in the shower. I'm of the school you fake it till you make it, and I wanted to show everyone there that I am a competitor even if it makes me uncomfortable. I'm surprised that during this process there seems to be a lot of negativity towards me, so I hope that with winning this challenge things will start to shift.

Last but not least I want to talk about my favorite part of this episode -- Jackie and Joe's double date. I wonder if when he opens his mouth it smells like the BS he's spewing. I think I can speak for a lot of women who would take a personality over a "good looking" guy. Of course Joe can't find true love when he's combing the bar at last call looking for girls that are drunk enough to be deemed legally "unconscious" and asks the awake ones questions like, "When did you realize that you were smarter than your parents." He's still single? Color me shocked.

So what did we learn this week? Upper arm workouts are the quickest way to get results. Mindful eating and not cheating=good numbers on the scale. I now know why all those PCD girls have amazing bodies, because that workout is insane (there is a DVD which I highly recommend getting). Avoid the bars around 1:30 so you won't get asked moronic questions from douchbags. Nothing keeps a girl away from a free facial; even if it means she has to take her shirt off.